Unbreakable Bonds

Chapter 13

The season came and went. You had successfully became part of the starting 11 in the last quarter of the season. Playing alongside Jenni worked really well. You had moved back into the house with Dom in February. It was hard, it still is. It's awkward between the two of you. You still go to Lexi's house on Fridays for dinner and stay the night. You weren't exactly happy, content.

You didn't trust Dom. Not in the slightest. You didn't let him come to your games, or to family nights. Too afraid he'd embarrass you again. You and Ronnie were good again. Like nothing ever happened, between time with Lex and Ronnie, school and training, you were barely at the house.

One day during training, Lex and you had been called over by management. All standing there with grim looks on their faces. They said there was an incident with her dad and she needed to leave. Alexia was in shambles, you technically didn't have you license, however you decided it would be best if you drove. The what ifs floated around the car as you made your way to the hospital.

Arriving there quickly you saw Eli and Alba, as well as their families. The look on their faces said it all. He had died. A heart attack. Alexia lost it. No one had ever seen her like that. Throwing things, swearing, crying. You took her away. Made her get into the car and you drove. You drove south to Sitges. Stopping the car at the beach and pulling Alexia with you, dropping your keys and phone in the sand and continuing to walk into the ocean. Fully clothed. You knew this would help ground her and make her focus on her breathing.

You held her against you, waiting for her to calm down slightly. It worked. You slowly made your way up to the beach, sitting with your belongings. Lex between your legs, you playing with her hair. No words were spoken, they didn't need to be. You knew what she was going through, she just wanted you close. You sent a text off to Eli, explaining where you were and that you would be back soon.

You took Lex back home, got her showered, brushed her teeth and put her to bed. You stayed until she was asleep and then made your way downstairs. Alba was asleep on the couch, you took it upon yourself to take her upstairs into her bed. Eli and her sister were sitting at the table. You didn't want to disturb them too much so quickly got yourself a bottle of water, hugged Eli and took yourself back into lexs bed. All the rules went out the window. She needed you. You knew that, and Eli knew that.

The funeral was hard, the following weeks harder. Alba and Eli grieved as you'd expect. Alexia did not. She shut down. No tears, her face seemingly void of any emotion. She spent most days running, training or at the gym. You knew it wasn't healthy, but you also knew you couldn't push her. You gave her space when she asked, and held her when she needed. Due to the off season, you were able to smash out almost a years worth of work, meaning if you finished in the next few weeks you'd be able to graduate and not have to deal with school anymore.

Your birthday came and went again. Spending it with Dom, Ronnie, Alba, Eli and Alexia. You were sad that Jaume wasn't there, everyone was. But you all tried to make it a good day. The start of preseason had its own challenges. To an outsider, your relationship with Alexia wasn't looking strong. But that couldn't be further from the truth. In the privacy of our room or hers, it was thriving. Everything was going well. In the safety of your arms she would tell you about her grief and ask you about yours.

As much as Lex tried to control herself and control her grief, it sometimes it got the better of her. In mid November, after a shit game, Lex had a long hot shower. Taking off her watch, rings and bracelet her dad gave her, putting them in the drawer in her bathroom. 45 minutes later when she came out she forgot where she had put it. Freaking out and tearing her room apart, then calling you in a panic. You quickly arrived at her house going straight into her room, finding her crying in the corner.

It took awhile, but after you managed to calm Lex down, you re made her bed and put her in it. Making your way to the bathroom, you looked through the hamper, and then looked through the drawers. Finding the bracelet under her watch. You went back in to find her asleep in a ball, you gently took her arm and put the bracelet back on her. Turning your attention to her room, all her clothes from the dresser on the floor, the clothes in the closet half hung. You got to work quickly re folding and packing everything away.

As you were about to leave you heard Alba in her room crying. Knocking once, then walking in you could see she was upset. You laid in bed with her. Letting her talk about whatever she wanted and needed. When she asked you a question you were shocked.

"How did you deal with it all? You lost almost your whole family and we only lost our dad. I can't imagine the mess you were."

She didn't mean any harm by it. You think it was a way for her make herself out at dramatic.

"I think death is death. It doesn't matter how many people die, 5 verses 1. It all hurts the same. One day everything is fine and then one day everything is a mess. The hardest thing I learnt is that grief isn't linear. There are stages of grief yes, but you don't go through them in the order they exist. Some people might, but most people don't. It also isn't as pretty or simple as TV shows or movies make it out to be."

You thought very carefully about what you were about to say, "you can go weeks without feeling the grief, then the slightest thing might happy and you might feel guilty. Not that you forgot that they were gone, because how could you, more that you're moving on without them. Living a life that doesn't include them. Eventually you'll meet people who had no idea about them. Then there's the big events. Birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, signing your first contract, all things you wished they were there for. But the little things too, seeing a beautiful sunset and wanting them to be included, a movie you think they will enjoy. Grief is so incredibly intense and hard. But you have people around you who will keep you grounded and safe. If you need anything at all, I'll always be here for you." You wiped Albas tears and kissed her temple goodnight.

Unbeknownst to you, Eli had watched your every moved. She watched you put Alexia to bed, find her bracelet and clean her room. She watched and listen as you spoke so calmly and lovingly to Alba. She knew the pain you'd be through, that you were still going through. As you made you way downstairs, Eli wrapped you in a big hug.

"Thank you for being there for my girls Ana. I need you to take care of yourself. Remember that you lost him too." Her words cut you like a knife.

You lost him too.