Unbreakable Bonds

Chapter 25

I sat there listening to her cry. It made me cry. She genuinely believed I cheated on her. After 7 years she thinks I could do that to her? I thought I'd shown her how much I loved her. I don't understand at all.

"I know you won't open the door and I know you want me to leave but I'm not going too. Just listen to what I have to say." Worst case I call Jenni. She'll back me up right. "Since j and Ronnie broke up, I felt useless. You were able to give her the emotional support and words she needed to hear. I can't do that. I don't know why I can't help her when she needs that, but I can't. You can. I wanted to fix this so I went to Paris. I went to Paris to talk to J. To ask her why she left like that. I wanted to help fix this, to make Ronnie happy again. I needed to do something that would help. When I left and got back to the airport, all the flights were cancelled from the fucking storm. I didn't have a phone charger or anything because I was supposed to be back before you noticed. I didn't want to worry you so I left you in the dark. I know it was stupid but I love Ronnie so much and seeing her in so much pain and not being able to help broke my fucking heart. Maybe it's selfish or stupid, I don't know. But I would never ever in a million years cheat on you. I'm sorry if I ever gave the the impression that you weren't enough but you are. Always and forever."

"Ana? You went to Paris to fix my relationship?" My head snapped to the front hallway. Ronnie standing there crying with J. I didn't even hear them come in.

"Ronnie please don't be mad. I'm sorry okay, I wanted to help and I couldn't. So I went and fixed it. Clearly J listened since she's here."

Slowly Lex opened the door. Everyone was crying. This was honestly just a big misunderstanding, but I needed to make sure that Lex didn't feel unworthy or unloved. I took Lex into our room, wanting to figure out what was going on in her head. She's the one person who I could help emotionally.

"Lex I need you to talk to me. I fucked up here but I need to know why you automatically went to be cheating."

"Please Ana. I don't want to have this conversation now or ever. We can just forget it and move on okay?"

"No no no. We are not doing that. If I haven't made you feel loved or wanted, then I'm doing something wrong. Because I love you so much. I want to marry you, and grow old with you, have kids and travel. You're the only person I want, now and forever."

"How can you say that?" Confusion spread across my face. She knew I was confused. "How can you say forever. You don't know that. You might find someone better than me. Someone skinner or prettier. You can't say forever and mean it."

There it is. She's feeling insecure about herself.

"I don't care about what you look like. I truly don't. I love you for you. I love that everyone perceives you as the big, hard person but in reality you're soft and mushy. I love the frown you get on your face when you're watching a game back and you see what you think is a mistake. I love your heart, and how you take care of the younger girls. I love how hard working and determined you are, and most importantly, I love your heart. I don't care if you change your looks, I will still love your heart"

Lex threw herself into my arms. Her head in my neck, tears streaming down her face on my shoulder. I couldn't care less. This was genuinely one big misunderstanding but I'm glad it happened. Ronnie and j were back together, Lex shared her insecurities and I promised to continued to love her no matter what.

Christmas was different this year. Ronnie and Maria spent it in Madrid with Jenni and her family. Lex and I spent it with her family. Holidays were hard. I missed my family. I missed waking up to complete chaos. I missed the mess, the happiness, the love. It was different now. Dom was off being Dom. I aches for the last few normal years with him, wishing that he could join us. Realistically, I knew it couldn't happen. Not with his addiction and his violent outbursts. I couldn't and wouldn't risk it. So I suffered in silence. Trying my best to put on a happy face. After a while I needed a break, to stop faking it. I went and hid in the garden. Silence engulfed around me. That was until I heard the back door open, and feet walk towards me. I knew who it was, I didn't even to turn around to know it was Eli. I recognised her footsteps.