Unbreakable Bonds

Chapter 34

"Hi Anastasia, please come in. I'm Dr Martens, but you can call me Mel if you like. Totally up to you."

"Hi. You can call me Ana."

"No worries. Take a seat Ana, or stand. Do whatever you feel comfortable with. I'll be by my desk finishing some files."

"Sorry? Aren't you supposed to make me talk and shit? It's that the whole point of therapy?"

"Usually, yes. But you're a special case. I've watched you for a few weeks now. Since I was first alerted to you. We have the rest of the afternoon so I'm not going to push you to talk. You can take your time."

That set me off. "Who the fuck has been talking to you? No one here has the right to talk to you about me. This is my own shit. No one else's."

"Ana, I don't care if you swear, I don't care if you yell, or break things. All I care about is you and your well-being. Your team captains, managers and Ronnie have all expressed their concerns."

Ronnie? The girl who hasn't spoken to me in months and yet she's talking about me. Was Alexia part of the conversation?

After a while, I started looking around the room. Photos were littered on the wall, drawings from kids, I'm assuming old clients. Accreditations, awards, everything. She was smart, I'll give. Her that. Signed jerseys from players such as Marta, Megan Rapino and Lauren Jackson hung on the far wall, the big glass windows open onto the field. The perfect viewing platform. I knew the team couldn't see me, most probably wouldn't know what this room was.

"Alright. I'm bored. What do you want to know?"

"Haha, Ronnie said this is how it would happen."

"Who else did you talk to? Alexia?"

"I tried. She shut me down very fast. Said that they weren't her secrets to tell. Ronnie came to me first. In early November. She noticed some changes in you and it took a few weeks for her to say anything. Then it was Claudia, then Mel and Irene, lastly it was Jona. They are all worried. So tell me what you feel, or what happened."

"A lot has happened. My family was murdered, my brother took me to some random country, then he got hooked on drugs, and left me. Jaume died. Covid happened, Ronnie stopped talking to me all because I was fucking helping her so she wouldn't try and kill herself again."

"Why don't we start with the Ronnie situation?"

"She has bipolar. She's had it for ages and I was the only one on the team that knew. We went away to Italy and she had stopped taking her meds. I didn't realise until it was too late. I was so wrapped up with my anxiety about proposing to Alexia and the thought of her breaking up with me. I bought her back here as soon as I could and I tried to help her without getting Dr Wan involved but it got too much. She was hurting herself and me. The day Dr Wan came, Alexia and Jenni came too. They found out during an outburst. She went to the hospital for a while and I'd visit everyday. I sat there with a book and waited. Hoping she'd let me see her but she didn't. Then when they said she was coming out, I decided it would be best to move out of the house completely and back in with Alexia like before covid."

"Is that when things started to go downhill with your moods and energy levels?"

"Maybe a few weeks later? I saw my brother. I hadn't seen him in maybe 4 years? I ran to our old house without even thinking and he has a kid. A whole ass kid and never said anything to me. He has this perfect family and he just forgot about me? I still run past there every week. Just to see. I know it's weird and creepy."

"I mean, yeah a little. Why don't you just talk to him? Wouldn't that be easier?"

"And say what exactly? Hey Dom you know how we used to be family? Seems you forgot about me!  What a great idea. Why didn't I think of that."

"Sarcasm is a coping mechanism. Did you know that? Did you ever properly deal with your families death?"

Huh?

"It's been what? 12 years right? Have you ever spoken to someone about it? What you went through?"

"No."

"Do you want to?"

"No."

"Alright then. We will leave that. How about things with Alexia? I don't know much. I know you're both private people and your relationship was outed publicly and you had a bad reaction to that?"

"There's not much to say. We have been together since 2011. She was one of the first people I met here. We used to go to her parents house for dinner every Friday night. Technically we've lived together since like 2015? Her parents got me to move in when Dom got too bad. And now we own an apartment together and I love her."

"What do you love about her? What makes her so special to you?"

"Have you met her? I love everything about her. The way she's the first to make sure the new players are comfortable, the way she is so serious on the field and during training, but the complete opposite in the locker rooms or at home. Her softness with me is something no one sees. I love the way she's so fiercely protective, the way she won't back down from a fight when it's important to her, the way she loves her family, but is also her sisters harshest critic, the way she refuses to nap when she's exhausted but falls asleep while I'm cooking dinner. I love how she does little things for me around the house, like taking out the bins because i hate it, or unpacking the dishwasher because it's my least favourite chore. i love everything about her."

"i bet she would say the same about you. the love you seem to have for each other seems to be what they write about in poetry."

"once in a life time kind of love. i dont want ti ever be with someone else. "

"Can you tell me about how your relationship went public? I know that wasn't your choice."

"We had a party at the house in the off season in 2020, everyone was drinking and listening to music by the pool. Lex and I were relaxed. The team knows of our relationship. Ronnie and Jenni had moved the mirror from the gym out by the pool so everyone could take photos. The next day we woke up to Alexia's sister banging the door down telling us we are in the background of all the photos, kissing and whatever. It would've been fine to deny until the last few, Lexs hands were literally on my ass and I was indirectly looking at the camera."

"How did you feel about that?"

"I didn't want anyone outside our bubble knowing."

"Why?"

"I wanted my private life to be private. Ever since my family died, there have always been news articles about me. Who I'm dating, what I'm doing, the tattoos I've gotten. I wanted privacy and it was taken from me. It wasn't my choice and the control was gone."

"Alright, I think we have made a good start today. We will continue this tomorrow and then slowly spread the sessions out. I want you to see the doctor tomorrow too, he will be able to help with your moods, I have a diagnosis ready but I don't want to push that on you."

"Okay. Thanks I guess?"

Mel walked me out, Lex was sitting on the floor with her headphones on watching her phone. She didn't noticed me until I was taking her phone out of her hands.

"Home time amor?"

"Please."