Unbreakable Bonds

Chapter 37

For the next 2 hours I sat in Mel's office and cried. Over everything, the meds were meant to be making me better yet here I was. Not feeling any better.

"You should go home Ana. You don't look like you've slept."

"I need to look at bus times. My phones in my locker." Where would I go? Not to the house with Ronnie, not to mine and alexia's apartment, she was too mad for that, I couldn't go back to Doms. Not like this.

"Can I go get Alexia? She can take you home yes?"

"No. She's mad at me. Can't I just stay here? I'll go to an empty room."

"You need sleep Ana. Proper sleep."

"Ok"

I must have fallen asleep on the couch in her office because the next thing I remember is Alexia coming in and trying to wake me.

"Amor? Mi chica? Can you wake up please? We are going home."

Slowly my eyes flooded open. They hurt from all the crying. Lexi's face softened when she saw my eyes. She could tell everything wasn't okay, it broke her heart to see.

"I'm going to talk to Jona. You need a few days off. You have my number, if you need anything please call me and I can come over." That was the last thing Mel said before we left. She could tell it was all too much. Everyone we passed could tell things were bad. Lex never let go of me, putting me in the car and buckling my belt for me. The drive home was quiet. I could tell she was in her own head.

"You're thinking very loud amor."

"Why didn't you come to me? I could've helped you? You scared me last night. You weren't answering calls or texts. Hell I even called Sam fucking Kerr to see if you had gotten on a plane to England." Her words were harsh. She didn't mean for them to be but they were. It sparked fresh tears to make their way down my face.

"I'm sorry"

"I'm not mad Ana. Please don't think I'm mad at you. I want to help you but I can't help you if you don't tell me things. I'm worried."

"I know. I-I stayed at Doms. I went there yesterday and my phone died and they offered for me to stay because it got too late for me to catch the bus. So I did. Then Isabella drove me to training on the way to drop off Andre. I miss how things were before." She squeezed my hand as encouragement to go on.

"I don't want to be like this. I love you so so much and I love our life together. I thought I was happy, I want to be better but I don't know how."

"Are you saying you aren't happy in this relationship anymore? Because if you aren't I don't want you to stay just out of habit. I want the best for you Amor, and if that means I need to let you go then I will."

"No! Fuck no! I don't want to break up, I love our relationship and I'm happy when it's just us, I'm just, I don't know? I don't know how to explain it without sounding like a jealous person?"

"What are you jealous of?"

"You."

"Me? I'm not understanding."

"You have a family. A mum and a sister who love you so incredibly much. They are present in your life, same with your aunt and uncle and your cousins. Then you have friends. Actual friends outside of football. You have all these people in your corner who would fight for you if you needed it. I don't. I had Ronnie. Doms been MIA, my families dead and I don't have any cousins or aunts and uncles. I know how stupid it sounds."