Unbreakable Bonds

Chapter 28

There's not much I could control in my life. I could control the way I hit the football, or the way people perceived me. I could control how I looked and how I expressed my emotions. And I could control what came next with me and Lex.

I'd had this plan for a while, to propose to Alexia. I had the ring, I knew that we both wanted it but there was something nagging me. I don't exactly know what it was but Everytime we went on holidays or just simply went away for the weekend, I'd take the ring. No one knew. I didn't even tell Ronnie because I thought the minute I verbalised it, things would change.

Yet here we are, on yet another holiday, with the stupid ring and box in my backpack upstairs. The whole team was here, it had been 6 weeks since the outing of our relationship, something the team were still extremely apologetic about. It didn't matter anymore, not to me or Lex. Keeping secrets was something Lex and I didn't do. It literally had a physical reaction to me. Ronnie knew something was up but she also knew she couldn't push me for the answers. But she snapped and couldn't take it anymore, pulling me away.

"Ronnie stop you're hurting me."

"Are you going to break up with Ale?"

"What? No?"

"She thinks you are. She told us you have been acting really weird since your relationship was outed and at first I didn't believe her because you're weird but now? Now I can see exactly what she means."

"I'm going to propose idiot!"

"Oh. Oh my fucking god!"

Unbeknownst to us, Lex was also going to propose. She had told Jenni and had everything ready to go. Since the whole pandemic started, my anxiety had gotten worse. Control was slipping away from me and there wasn't much I could do.

Alexia and Jenni had slipped away from the table when Ron and I went off.

"I'm telling you J, she's going to break up with me. I knew this would happen. She's too private and now everyone knows. She can't control her private life anymore. She's slipping away from me."

"Ale, dude, calm down. She wouldn't break up with you on a holiday and she certainly wouldn't come if she was going to break up with you. You have a plan. Do it. The worst she can say is no."

"Yeah she can say no and then fucking break up with me."

"Look I'll text V right now and see what she says ok. Relax."

J to Ronnie 🤰🏽
Hola bebita, is Ana planning on breaking up with Ale because she's freaking out and won't listen to me.

Ronnie 🤰🏽 to J
No lol. Quite the opposite actually

J to Ronnie 🤰🏽
?????
Propose?????
I can't exactly tell Alexia that can I???

Ronnie 🤰🏽 to j
Don't tell Alexia. We will both be dead. Ana will hang us off the balcony

J to Ronnie 🤰🏽
Ale is also going to propose but she's also convinced Ana is going to break up with her

Ronnie🤰🏽 to J
Ah fuck okay. I'll convince Ana to do it after lunch, you convince Ale to do it then too.

Their little plan was set in motion. Lex and I had no clue but were both as nervous as each other. Both downing our cocktails in hopes the nerves would calm, but the more I drank, the more I felt less in control. After everyone ate, we were all talking about the plans for the rest of the day. My phone buzzing caught my attention.

Ron Swanson 🧔🏽‍♀️
Nows the time cowboy. Go get the ring and take Ale for a walk.

"I'm just going to go to the bathroom." This was it. I was going to propose to Lex. Nothing could go wrong, right? I quickly made my way upstairs, getting the ring out of my bag and shoving it into my pocket. Quickly going into the bathroom to brush my teeth, wash my face and hands. Fuck I was so nervous. Hands sweating so much. As I made my way back downstairs, Lex was waiting at the bottom.

"Ana can we talk?" Uh oh. This was a bad idea. Maybe I read the signs wrong.

"Um sure? Let's go for a walk?" It was incredibly awkward. It felt like the first time we went in a proper date. We didn't hold hands, we barely spoke. Both so overcome with nerves that we just stared at the floor for what felt like an hour. The look out at the back of the villa was where I planned to proposed, so I dragged Lex there. Hoping I could do it before she broke up with me. The view was phenomenal, it over looked the country Italian town and mountains. It was quiet, secluded and calm.

Neither of us talked for a while. Just continuing to enjoy the view and what felt like the last little while as a couple. I knew what was coming. She was going to break up with me. 9 years together and she would end it. Was it the way I reacted when our relationship went public? Was I not emotionally mature enough? Was I not skinny enough or pretty enough?

"Ana, I know somethings going on with you. Can you please tell me because you're worry me? Did I do something wrong? Usually we can communicate what's happening but you're keeping a secret and I can feel you slipping away."

"I-I can't tell you yet"

"What the hell do you means you can't tell me yet? You want to wait until we are back home? I am not understanding Ana!"

"I'm sorry Lex. I am. I didn't mean for this to happen, for it to get so obvious but now you are angry and mad and I get it but I can't tell you because then you're going to get even more upset and think I'm trying to manipulate you or something!"

"Yeah right. So what? We are going to pretend for the next few days that everything is fine and then we are going to go home and you're going to break up with me? That's what is happening right? You want to break up?"

Silence engulfed us. No one said a word, tears streaming down both our faces. This isn't how I wanted it to go. It was supposed to be perfect, loving. I was supposed to be in control. Lexs scoff broke the silence.

"Can you say something? anything please."

"I wasn't going to break up with you. I was going to propose to you. It was supposed to be perfect and I thought it would be. I had to hide it from you because I didn't want you to know. It was supposed to be a happy time but you want to break up. It was supposed to be like this Lex."

"Propose? you were hiding an engagement ring?"

"Yes. Usually when people propose they have a ring ready."

"No. Ana -"

"Nope it's ok. Forget about it. I'm going to go. I'll get my stuff from the apartment at a later time." That was it. As quickly as I could, I made my way back to the villa, bumping into J and Ronnie who had big smiles on their faces. Ignoring them I ran upstairs and threw all my stuff into my bags, calling an Uber so I could get the hell out of here. As I hurried back downstairs, J, Ronnie and Alexia were all there waiting. Lex was still crying and the other two were looking very concerned. Pushing past I continued to leave. Ignoring the calls of my name.

"Ana stop! For fuck sake what happened!" Ronnie tightened her grip on my arm to stop me from walking away.

"Let go of me Veronica. I'm going home. I told you this was a bad idea. She wanted to break up not get married. It's done. We are done."

Alexia was shocked at what she heard. She didn't want to break up, she was going to propose to you. Suddenly this whole thing had been an incredibly huge misunderstanding.