NIKOAJ || hearts and stars

Nick?

The car ride home was sombre, my radio was turned off, there was no one next to me to talk my ear off. I parked in the driveway and stared at the house. I could feel myself starting to cry, my chest puffed itself out as I tried to keep every tear in, but I began sobbing. My fists smashed into the steering wheel as I cried and yelled. I wanted to be at home, holding Aj in my arms while I told him it would all be okay, that I wouldn't leave him ever again. But I had to leave, I was a burden to Aj, I hurt him while trying to hurt myself. If I ever went home and he wasn't under the influence, I'm sure he wouldn't want me.

I gasped for air as if I was shoved underwater by crashing waves, I opened the car door and walked inside the house, I walk to the bed of which I had stayed for far too long, i laid down and closed my eyes.

My lights flicked on.

"Nick?"

"Don't call me that."

"Are you alright?"

"Please leave me alone."

I heard my door close, and my lights went out, I let out a sob.

Sometimes I wondered what the world would be like without me, I would shake the thought, 'you're finally getting better Niko, what are you thinking!', but I don't feel like I'm getting better, I just feel like I can't take the edge off it anymore. I want to dream of a world where I'm happy, but even in my imagination that reality seems so far-fetched. Maybe instead I'll dream of a world where I pass on, that's something I can do.

Aj's pov

I woke up feeling sick and confused. I wasn't sure how I got home but I did know I met a man named Quinn. I panicked and sat up with my heart racing, I was relieved to see no one beside me in my bed, and all my clothes on.

I reached in the empty space for my phone, knowing I probably discarded it somewhere over there, instead I found it on my bedside table on charge. hm.

I opened my phone and dialled Seb's number; he picked up instantly. "Seb?" I mumbled, "yeah?" he spoke, something about his voice was off "did you take me home last night...?" I mumbled; I was beyond terrified I had given someone else my address, and on top possibly done something with them, something just didn't feel right. "Yeah, I did, I'm downstairs." he told me, "Oh, okay, coming." I sighed, hanging up and walking downstairs.

There he was on the couch, I sat beside him and rested my head on his shoulder, I brought my legs into a hug. "Hey, what's wrong?" He asked me "nothing" I responded "something doesn't feel right" I sighed, pulling out my phone and seeing the long history of unanswered calls to Niko. I saw something different. The phone symbol wasn't red. The call had gone through. "Seb- Sebastian!" I laughed; my hands were shaking as I showed him my phone. "Look! He- he answered my call!" I giggled like a teenage girl with a crush. "Don't get overly excited man, he might not do it again, I don't want you to get your feelings hurt." Seb warned me, he put his hand on my arm to steady me. I rolled my eyes and walked off.

In my room I thought about it, the chances of him answering were small especially after five months of no contact, it was probably an accident. I sighed and put my phone down.

It had been five months, and I was still hopeless, God, I would never get over this. 

CHARLIE:

super short chapter my bad but i dont want the next time skip in the same chapter also sorry for having so many time skips but i want to actually get to the end 😭😭

also clarification if anyone is confused it was Quinn who gave his bartender friend something to put in Aj's drink, not Seb, incase there was confusion there. 

tysm for the comments you guys give me motivation to write ily!!

LOVE U BYE FOR NOWWW