NIKOAJ || hearts and stars

Tied.

aj's pov!!!! 

Six months.

Seven months.

Eight, nine, ten.

Eleven months.

He never answered another call.

I felt so euphoric every time blood came pouring out of my wrist.

I watched it drip and seep out the sides as I laughed and smiled, and just for a second, everything felt alright.

Eleven months and I still felt so, so lost.

Almost a year, and I still felt like there was no point in living.

I thought of taking the easy way out, at least then my thoughts would stop eating me alive, right?

Today I got up as any other, I prayed before coming downstairs that he would be standing in my kitchen, and I would just attack him with kisses, and he would tell me he's sorry, of course that was just a wish, I knew it would never happen. I made my way downstairs and managed to make myself some toast. I somehow still burnt it slightly; I ate it and didn't complain, though that's because there's no one to complain to.

The collection of pills on the kitchen bench stared me in the eyes, teasing me.

I ate my food and got out of the house as quick as possible, even the house didn't want me there.

I got an uber to the mall strips and I wandered through them aimlessly, I stopped at a coffee shop and ordered a hot chocolate before continuing walking.

The stores were in the middle of their summer sales, waiting for August to end, the stores were marketing their clothing cheaper and cheaper everyday as they tried to rid themselves of their warmer wear.

And that's when I stopped.

His eyes locked with mine and he stopped.

His face, his hair, his eyes, his build, how he stood, everything was all the same.

I stared as he examined me.

I knew by the way he looked at me, he hadn't forgotten me for a single second.

I watched his eyes flicker from me to his side, into a store.

A woman called out his name from inside a store, he turned to her, I could only just see her, and I could feel the tears starting to stream.

She held up a baby's outfit, fitting for her round stomach which clearly currently carried a child.

My hands rushed to my eyes, the river that came from them was embarrassing. Of course, he left me for a woman, what was I thinking? I couldn't give him a family! How stupid was I? The smile on her face only made me cry more, she looked so happy, I could only imagine how happy she made him.

I started walking back where I came from, my teeth were clenched as my eyes just poured and poured. I was sobbing in the busiest place on earth it seemed, the busiest place on earth and I still managed to find him in the crowd. I wanted nothing more than to just die at that exact moment.

I heard him yell out my name.

"Aje!"

I didn't want him anymore, I would be ruining a family, but Niko ruined my life.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialled Sebastian's number.

"Hey Aj-"

"Seb, please" I sounded desperate "I need you, please come get me, I'm in the city." I sniffled