NIKOAJ || hearts and stars

Your loss.

Me and Seb arrived at his house, and we walked inside while we talked about what we'd been up to. "Are you hungry?" Seb asked as he walked into the kitchen, "yeah, a little." I shrugged, he nodded and nodded towards the pantry and fridge "grab anything, I don't mind" Seb smiled "thanks" I smiled, I grabbed something small and ate quickly before joining Seb on the couch. I remembered back to the last time I was here, when Tino walked into the room, me and Seb lost in some odd emotion that was nothing more than confusion. I leaned against his arm and opened my phone, while he watched the tv. "Oh, what happened with Tino?" I asked, tilting my head back so I could just barely see Seb. "It's complicated." He sighed, "see, I ended things with Tino but I don't know. It feels wrong, I feel like I still want him, and I know I shouldn't." He explained, looking up at the ceiling as he spoke "have you told him that?" I asked, "no, I don't know what to say." He shrugged. "Just tell him, I told Niko I was scared of him, and we're working on it, he's less irritable and doesn't yell or threaten me anymore, you don't have to be together to work on your problems, if it all goes well, you'll get back together." I told him "But you're different, Aj. You're still dating Niko through all of this, of course it'll get better." he sighed, pushing his hair from his face "we're not dating, we broke up. I told him I don't trust him, and I fear him, I only just kissed him for the first time in like, a month, right before I left earlier." I chuckled slightly "Tino gets home late tonight, he's out with his friends." Seb told me, looking downcast "what's wrong with that?" I asked, talking about his expression. "he's got this one friend who's always trying to get with him, even when we were together, and I was there." Seb looked irritated just talking about it "a guy or a girl?" I asked, "a girl." he answered. Tino's bisexual, so is Seb, they're both each other's first boyfriend, Seb tells me stories from over the years of them being on and off dating since they were sixteen, every time Tino cheated couldn't be counted on one hand. Almost every time they broke up it was Tino's fault, cheating, substance abuse, drinking, domestic violence.

Seb defended him every time, saying he had changed, he hadn't cheated since they were twenty-one, which was six years ago, he had stopped using drugs, he only drank occasionally, and he had only hit Seb when under the influence of drugs.

No matter how much I tried to tell him Tino was horrible and he could flare up at any moment, Seb didn't want to hear it. He told me I didn't know him, so what would I know. "I'm sorry Seb, I know you love him, I'm just worried." I mumbled "I think you should talk to him about how you feel." I told him "When he gets home, talk to him." I smiled, Seb didn't look so happy "he'll come home drunk, I can't talk to him tonight." Seb mumbled. I understood and let it go, returning to my phone.

Me and Seb watched tv, played board games and went on our phones until the sun set and Seb went to his own room, saying he was tired, I was left to sleep on the couch, which I didn't mind at all. I scrolled through TikTok, ever since Niko returned to the beta squad, people had been making edits of the two of us, I scrolled through many edits of me and Niko, edits surfaced from when Niko said we were married in the restaurant video, and they made me smile. I scrolled through the comments and found one Niko left on a video where they compared how we looked at each other in videos over time.

@niko

this one made me cry

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I laughed at his comment, having seen it on a post before as well, also being about me. I liked it and turned off my phone. I fell asleep without trouble, however being woken up a few hours later by the sound of the door opening and closing. I turned my head to see Tino, he stumbled around finding his way to the light switch. The light turned on and I groaned quietly, the bright white instantly gave me a headache. Tino turned around with a confused look. "Aj?" he breathed out in confusion "why are you on my couch?" he asked, holding his head "I'm staying here for the night, Niko pissed me off." I sighed, watching as he nodded and pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, along with a lighter that was scratched and looked like it had been thrown to the floor thousands of times. Tino took note of me staring. "What, did you catch Niko smoking too?" he asked with a laugh. I couldn't tell if he was joking or serious. "No, what?" I asked, sitting up "Niko smokes?" I questioned, Tino rolled his eyes "no, Aj. It was hypothetical, it's none of my business if your guy smokes." He answered, lighting his cigarette "plus I only asked because I know he had an eating disorder." he shrugged mindlessly, "what do cigarettes have to do with eating disorders?" I asked with a chuckle, genuinely confused. "Do I have to explain everything to you?" he asked seriously, making me feel insecure about my question. "Nicotine causes a reduction in appetite and increases metabolic rate. In conclusion, you get skinny as hell." He laughed with a smile. "Want a drag?" he asked, offering me his cigarette "no, I'm fine." I chuckled nervously. "Whatever, your loss. Night." He groaned, walking to his room, leaving the stench of the cigarette behind.

I fell back asleep, not worrying about Niko. I knew he could handle himself; I would know if he smoked. Plus, he wouldn't throw away his life to smoke and lose weight anymore.

 Maybe I worried a little, we were both capable of things we'd never thought. 

CHARLIE:

ANOTHER CHAPTER WOO

gonna write Aj's bday chapter soon xoxo

my playlists r getting me thru every chapter rn my love my life for real omg

LOVE UUUUU