Y/n was beyond tired right now and she would've been in bed asleep if it wasn't for her roommate seungcheol . Here she was , all dolled up and pretty for nothing because now she didn't wanna be at the party anymore .
She had a long week and he knew that better than anyone so he invited her out to let her loosen up a bit but what he didn't think was maybe she just wanted to sleep in her bed , maybe with him beside her . He just kept begging and asking all week so when the time finally came she gave in , really she couldn't blame him , she has to blame herself because she's in love with someone who despises the thought of love .
But that was the thing , she could be perceived to be the same way . She acts as if she doesn't care too much about the concept of loving and being loved , like she could live without it but deep down everyone wants love , everyone human at heart that is .
About 5 months ago things happened between her and cheol and the next morning he made it clear that he wasn't looking for anything serious and at the time neither was she so they'd mutually agreed on being friends with benefits . That had been going well for a while until y/n started to slip , it was unconscious at first but then she started feeling the sting in her chest when cheol flirted with other women , brought other women to their shared apartment & etc .
She was confused at first because she hadn't felt that feeling in a long time so while she was happy her heart was starting to comfortably open up , she was also angry .. angry that the person it was opening up to was so .. bad for her .
She had been walking around the party for about 45 minutes , 4 drinks and about 5 chips in and she wanted to go home . She was a bit tipsy and also very tired so she searched for seungcheol to tell him she was ready to go as he'd drove her there .
She found him , his back facing her as he chatted up his target for the night . She stopped before approaching him , her stomach felt weird , her heart was doing that burning thing that it usually does and she was really not in any state to be feeling sad emotions rn .
She walked over to him and tapped his shoulder making him turn around and look down at her a bit . "I'm ready to go home now i'm tired" she said and he looked at his phone . "But we literally just got here" he said and she rolled her eyes . "Yeah an hour ago , i'm tired cheol i wanna go home" she said and he looked at her like he was tired of seeing her face . "What does that have to do with me?" he asked and right then she came to her senses . "right .." she walked away without saying anything else .
He watched her leave , something in him feeling a bit weird .. guilt maybe . He shook it off and turned back to the girl he was talking to before but this time the conversation seemed hard to keep as his mind was somewhere else . why does he feel bad?
She stood outside rubbing her hands up and down her arms as the cold air slowly started to freeze her . Her uber soon pulled up and she got inside putting her airpods in and staring out the window watching the city lights fly by .
When she made it home she looked at her phone and saw that she had 5 missed calls from seungcheol . As she stared down at her screen her vision started to blur then a tear fell on the phone . She felt pathetic really for multiple reasons . For one she's known seungcheol long enough to know that he's not the lover boy type yet she still fell for him and then even worse than that she's standing here crying over him .. pathetic right?
She just wiped her eyes and walked into her room to get ready for a shower .
~
About 2 hours later cheol came home . The apartment was dark and quiet as he stepped inside turning the lights on and sighing . He saw her shoes in their usual spot so he was relieved that she was home . About 20 minutes after she walked away and him fighting with himself he walked around the party looking for her but he didn't find her obviously .
He left and started to drive around the neighborhood to see if she was walking but he still didn't find her . Instead of the 5 from before her phone had about 40+ missed calls now . He ran a tired hand down his face and made his way to her bedroom . He knocked but no answer .
Called her name , still no answer . He quietly opened the door to her room and despite the room being dark he could see her wrapped up in her big white blanket and her bonnet on her head . He assumed she was asleep and just left .
She wasn't asleep yet though , tears soaked her pillow as she cried silently in her bed .
He walked down the hallway and into his room closing the door behind him . He sat his keys and phone down on the nightstand and sat on his bed , taking in the silence and drowning in his own thoughts and guilt about how he treated her . He started to hear sniffles as the walls were thin and something in his chest began to burn .
He made her cry .
He fell back on his bed staring up at the ceiling wishing that he could go back in time . He knows that he feels this way because he has feelings for her too but that's also why he feels bad . It's been so long since he'd properly loved someone he didn't know how to anymore . He didn't know if he could love her without hurting her because in reality that's the last thing he wanted .. he's just been so caught in his confusion he can't think anymore .
He's sorry .
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this chapter was also supposed to go differently but i was js feeling angsty today lol after not having inspiration for like 2 weeks (😒) .
also i added like 3 more parts lol so instead of 6 its 9 now 👍🏾
