Afton Random Books

Main AU: Perfection

[Warning: abuse, offensive words]

-NA-

Perfection, he always pursued perfection even though many people say that nothing is perfect.

There was something he can make perfect; his grades, his acrobatics, his winning of trophies. It wasn't about him, but about what he could achieve as a human being, as a child to make his parents proud. Even though he was labeled too serious, too ambitious, unable to socialize well, with no chance of making friends.

Maybe, he just wanted validation.

Or maybe, he was just scared.

To failure? Perhaps. However, on to other things.

Grades must be perfect, practice must be perfect, achievements must be perfect. His weak body couldn't bear it all at the same time, but what other choice did he have?

Initially, he did everything to get his father's attention, to get what his half-brother got, to try to be a good son and to try to be the perfect son. Why did he always lose to his younger brother? How did his brother get everything he wanted without trying hard, or was he just trying too hard? Or was he simply unwanted? No, no. Father said he loves him, he just showed it differently than James. Father might love him more if he could achieve more than perfection.

Gold, silver, bronze medals and trophies, national awards, the highest score of all the students in school, body bending flexibly perfecting high jumps walking on a tightrope swinging on air—why did he always fail to make her proud?

Dizzy, dizziness, migraines that won't stop, nosebleeds, blood, blood, fever, broken bones, weak.

"Useless piece of brat!"

The exclamation caused shame within him, he got up from the net that was catching his body so he wouldn't hit the surface after he slipped from a height while practicing. His father's workers stopped, all eyes glared at him, embarrassing, this was embarrassing, he lowered his head. The performance had been scheduled for the weekend, and he messed up the rhythm of the practice just because his forehead was throbbing with pain non-stop.

"I've told you over and over again to keep your balance and this is the third time you've failed! Useless prick!"

Dad pulled him to his feet, his grip tasting purple on his arm. "I'm sorry," he squeaked softly. "I ... I'm a little dizzy."

Dad seemed like he was going to say something but stopped, looking frustrated, a feeling of guilt starting to emerge. He shouldn't have made a mistake, he should've been more focused, dad had put in so much effort with all of their training and he kept messing it up. "We're going home now."

Another day of his failure.

100% is the safe zone, 95% is not good, 90% is not good, 85% is not good, below 80% is the red zone, should be avoided.

"Explain to me why your exam got a B+ this time?"

"I don't feel well."

"That's no reason to be such a retard." Father threw the test paper straight at his face, he swallowed hard again and winced as the paper fell to the floor. "Go back to studying."

He dared to look back at his father. "I have studied for two hours, I want to rest for a bit."

Father was silent, slowly getting angry. "How dare you say you want to rest when you get embarrassing grades that's not even trash worthy? Ungrateful brat! I work hard to support this family and you and then this is what you give me?!" He gasped when his father reached out to pull his blonde hair tight, the roots seemed to be ripped out and he tried to free himself. However, he was only a twelve-year-old kid, what could he do? "You want to fight back now, huh? Acting like an adult?"

His body was dragged from the living room, through the corridor of the house to the bathroom, while he was still struggling even though his fear was starting to creep in at lightning speed, as if his pleas to be released had never been heard. The tub was still filled with cold used water when father buried his face in the tub, pressing hard on the back of his neck so he couldn't move. His eyes felt sore, tightness squeezes in the chest cavity and air bubbles appear. He forced himself to reach for his father's hand and tried to loosen his grip, but father pushed him deeper.

Ten seconds, twenty seconds, thirty-five.

Father pulled back his head and he quickly took a deep breath even though he was coughing, it felt like water was filling his lungs and throat.

"If you want to be such an ungrateful little failure," father snarled, he fell on his knees on the floor, "at least don't embarrass me first with your pathetic grades. Make me proud."

He was pushed into the room by his father without getting a moment to breathe easier, his father slammed the door to his room and he could hear the door locking from outside. Tears started to fall from his red eyes, a sob that no one cared about.

Father never loved him, he just stuck with those little lies to motivate himself.

Therefore, when he first said that he got a C to his family, a family who genuinely loved him, he couldn't help but being a crying mess in the middle of the night knowing that they were actually cheering him enthusiastically for getting a C, celebrating it.

They're bunch of weirdos, he loves them so much.