Main AU: Ambush [Short Hair [3]]

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[Lucas W. x Arthur A.]

-LA-

Lucas fiddled with the penknife in his hand blankly, his mind drifting off to nowhere. He was still thinking what Arthur said at that time when they were together in his room. About what Arthur had told him, about his feelings and thoughts. He couldn't stop daydreaming about it. He was quite regret it he didn't hold Arthur back from leaving, instead just standing around like an idiot.

Their relationship had been quite complicated with the FWB frill, he actually didn't expect that he would end up liking the black-haired man romantically, nor did he think that his feelings were reciprocated.

However, misunderstandings can be troublesome.

Maybe he was just scared. Scared to admit it, scared to go further, scared that he couldn't maintain their relationship, scared that he would hurt him.

Cowards, indeed.

He was such a wimp, he was more concerned with himself, he was selfish. His ego had always been high. Afraid of getting hurt, he never thought much of others. It always ends bad, never ends well-how could it end well if he always pushed everyone away? Haha.

After all, his expectation of himself was too low, he couldn't overcome his hatred to himself. He had lost many people, he couldn't lose Arthur because of his own stupidity.

Maybe he was halfway there.

The beep from the computer snapped him out of his reverie, he shifted the swivel chair towards the desk and looked at the computer screen. The screen showed that the data transfer was complete, he removed the flash drive quickly.

The mission this time was completed quite well.

He stepped out of the room, through a corridor where several lifeless bodies lay strewn on the marble floor. An ambush in this place was pretty easy, or he might just be taking it lightly and being cocky. Lucas stared at one of the bodies that showed a bit of movement, he frowned and threw his penknife right at the man's nape. Blood dripped from the blade as he drew it languidly, thinking back on Arthur's words again, he let out a heavy breath.

He walked out of the residence checking his phone, he opened his email box and got a new email from his boss.

Another ambush?

Okay, no problem.

It wasn't too difficult to carry out solo attacks like before without a backup squad if you get used to it.

He had been doing this for so long, he couldn't even remember when.

There was no longer any support squad for him.

Lucas stared at Arthur's contacts with a look that couldn't quite be interpreted, he bit his lower lip uneasily. He couldn't shake Arthur's words away at all, did he hurt him? He didn't want their relationship to deteriorate, he didn't want to lose him.

Maybe, there's no harm in trying.

He brought the phone to his ear and stopped under a tree for shelter, he wasn't in England at the moment because his mission required him to go to Netherlands for one week and he didn't get to say goodbye to Arthur at all. He wished Arthur would take his call.

["Luke?"]

A smile appeared on his face. "Hey," he said softly.

["What's up?"]

Lucas was silent, he was now at a loss for words. He didn't know what to answer. "I ..."

I want to say I love you.

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