A Young Mum: Luke Hemmings

«Chapter 5; We had sex?»

I feel a tap on my shoulder and turn around. My mood this morning is a solid 1/10, I'm pissy at the world and anyone trying to converse with me has already pissed me off so I turn around with my bitchiest face possible on.

"What?" My voice and face is harsh but my look softens when I see it's Luke.
This is the first time I've properly spoken to him since the dreaded party that he dared not speak to me after, apparently we kissed there but I don't remember so I've avoided him at all costs.

"Hey Freya," Luke waves awkwardly and his attitude is one million times different from how it was at the party.

"I was just wondering how you are...We haven't spoken much since the party?" He asks and I smile, relaxing a bit but also tensing because this is awkward as hell.

"I'm fine. Homeroom soon so..." I say awkwardly, trying to avoid talking to him as much as possible.

It's not that I don't want to, it's just that I'm scared of what he or I might say because I don't want to mug myself off and him because he might mention something from the party that I really don't want to know.

"Yeah yeah totally and same but I just...was wondering if you remember much from the party? Keira mentioned to Ally who mentioned to Calum that you didn't and well, I just wanted to know?" He seems awkward as he scratches the back of his neck like every boy bloody does.

"I've been told we er...kissed. Which I'm not saying I regret or anything but I don't remember it no and I'm really sorry about that it's just that I never really get drunk or anything and I'm sorry if I literally mouth raped you or anything I was so drunk." I ramble for ages and he smiles for awhile but soon his smile turns into an awkward frown.

"Do you not remember anything else that happened between us?"

"No Luke. Why?" My chest starts to feel heavy as my brain catches on to what he's initiating and I start to panic.

"Freya I just thought you would remember, you weren't a very obvious drunk I thought you were only a bit drunk like me if I'd of known that you would black out and not remember anything I wouldn't have taken you upstairs in the first place but you gave me your consent so I thought you were able to do it. I was drunk too but I understand if you hate me, I'm so so so sorry Freya."

"What the fuck are you initiating Luke?" My eyes are wide and my breath starts getting heavy as he looks down at the ground in guilt.

"We-we had sex Freya. I thought you remembered and that's why you were avoiding me- Freya! Freya!"

Luke shouts after me but my ears are blocked and my eyes have blinders on them as I keep my focus on one thing and one thing only- finding Ally.

This may seem like an overreaction but my virginity was important to me, I wanted to save that and cherish it until I found the person I loved, not waste it on some boy I'd known for one minute at a freaking high school party.

I'm stupid, I'm a slut. I'm actually a fucking slut.

What must people think of me?
Who else knows?

I put out so easily for him without knowing anything about him, I'm such an idiot.

I knew something bad would happen, I felt it the minute we got out of that car, and I still went with my head instead of my gut. Something bad always happens at these parties.