A Young Mum: Luke Hemmings

«Chapter 7; Picking up from Depression»

I've never felt so alone in my whole life.
My mom and dad went away for a couple of days and they think I'm at Ally's house but I haven't even been to school.
I haven't spoken to anyone since what happened with Luke and what I found out.
I can't find the strength to move from my bed and every time I look in the mirror I feel a pure sense of shame.

Ally has tried to call and text and has even come round and knocked and shouted through the letterbox but I haven't replied or answered to her. I can't bring myself to face anyone knowing what a disgrace I am.

All of a sudden my phone blurts out Numb by Linkin Park which is ironic and relatable and I almost don't answer but the No Caller ID makes me think it could be one of my parents from a payphone or something since they can't use their phones in Hawaii.

"Mom?" I say hopefully, wanting to have the comfort of my mothers voice in my ear.

"Its Ashton." I hear him giggle.
"Freya are you okay?" His voice turns serious and I sigh.

"So I guess Luke told you."

"We were there when he spoke to you. I'm telling you now Freya, I've never felt so disgusted in him in my whole life. There's never been a moment in our friendship where I've felt ashamed to say he's my friend. I am so sorry he acted like that."

"I know. So am I." I sigh again.

"He doesn't mean it, he cares about you, I know that. But he's obviously scared."

"I'm scared but because I'm carrying the damn thing, there's nothing I can do about it." I shout but it comes out as a weak groan since my voice is so tired from all the fucking crying.

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know Ashton. I just need to go and have a breather from everyone. I can't face anyone knowing what a slut I am and act like innocent boring me."

"Oh come on Freya, you aren't a slut. If it helps I lost my virginity at a party as well. But I'm not a slut am I? Would you say I'm a disgrace?"

"You're not pregnant Ashton."

"Yes but that doesn't mean you're a disgrace, that just means you're a bit of a twat. But that's okay, you can sort it out. This will make you stronger as a person Freya trust me."

"If you say so Ash."

"Hey, the bell just went so I need to go but be careful Frey and know we're all here for you. And Ally misses you so if you could please contact her."

"Okay Ashton. See you."

I hang up and stand up to go and have a shower. Drowning in my own tears doesn't sound like a great idea.

I'm going to go and find Ally, wherever she is.
I need my best friend and I need to figure out what I'm going to do. This is it.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

When I called Ally and asked to meet her she told me to come to the river behind her house where she goes all the time.
It's usually where her and Toby go for alone time when her mom is home but I doubt he's with her right now. She wouldn't do that to me.

"Ally!" I shout. She's stood on the cliff edge, staring out into the river.

"Ally be careful." I scream as I get nearer. I grab her and pull her back.

"What the fuck Ally? We're you trying to top yourself!"

"No you nutter. I was just looking to see if I could see any sharks. Apparently there's been sightings of them in America." She says, smiling and pulling her arm away from my grasp.

"For fucksake Ally, not in rivers you absolute bellend." I laugh and she joins in as she sits on the cliffs edge and pats for me to join her.

"Freya I know you've got some issues going on in your life but I need to get something off of my chest..." she sighs and I shove her.

"Ally it doesn't matter what's going on in my life you can always talk to me. I'm sorry for going awal for a while. I've been trying to wrap my head around everything but if you needed me you should have said." I shove her again and she nods and looks down to her enclosed hands.

It's not often that I see Ally upset but she can't even look at me and even before she says it I know what she's going to say.

"What happened?" I try to encourage her to talk.

"It's nothing to do with Toby cheating if you were assuming that." She frowns.

"Oh." I say awkwardly.
"What then?"

"Why do you always assume the worst with him Freya? I know he hasn't been the best boyfriend in the world and I know you hate him but that's only because you see the bad things. You don't know what he says to me and what he does to make me happy. After three years I wouldn't put up with shit from him if I was constantly unhappy."

"I know Ally but it's hard as your best friend to see you in tears over him. It's hard because you deserve someone who can't stand seeing you cry. Who makes you really really happy and makes you love life and Toby just hasn't given that impression. I hate seeing you unhappy and that's what you seem to be. He's toxic for you whether or not you see it or not."

"Okay whatever." She groans.

Just because she hates hearing the fucking truth.

"I wanted to ask if you'd come bowling with the 5SOS boys and I?"

"What, no Ally what the fuck? Did you not hear the things Luke said to me?"

"Yes obviously I heard. But I think he was in shock, I'm on your side everyday of the week but I think you should give him a chance to explain considering it's his baby too."

She is technically right but I don't want her to be because I don't want to see him. He hurt me and that's that.

"He hates me."

"He does not Freya. He really likes you, he always has and hes scared and nervous. We're going bowling then back to Ashton's house for pizza and a movie marathon. Please come." She begs me.

"I can't. This isn't him being a dick, this is him basically giving me and my child the middle finger."

She giggles and I frown.

"Your child. God that's weird to think. Listen, I think you should come just to test the waters. If he's a dick of says one thing wrong we can go, I promise. Ashton wanted me to get you to come, I promised him I'd try."

"Ashton? Why does Ashton want me to come?"

"Because he cares about Luke. Just think about it."

"Fine for fucks sake. I'll think about it."

"Freya!" She scolds me.

"You can't swear in front of the baby."