Josh threw his arms up in victory, the controller falling to the floor. "SUCK IT BITCHES!" He shouted. I grinned. Matt and Sam just rolled over and groaned into the couch cushions, accepting their failure. "From now on," Josh claimed, "you are going to be me new gaming partner." He stuck his long index finger out towards me. Part of me wanted to protest, but the other half was screaming, fuck yes.
"What the hell?" Sam pouted from the floor. "Penelope always sucks at COD. Since when can you do 13 headshots in a row?" He asked me.
"Yesterday when I was playing with her, she somehow managed to shoot herself." Blaine interjected.
"To be honest, I have no clue. I am just as, if not more, surprised than you." I declared.
"The same goes for Josh. He has never beat me in any type of game. Not even Candyland. And that game is based purely on luck." Matt said.
"Well, maybe I just found my lucky charm." Josh said simply. He looked at me out of the corner of his eyes. I realized the rest of the boys were looking at Josh too. Some eyes lingering on me as well. I looked down at my hands and sort of felt like screaming.
"Okay, so who's next?" Josh asked, apparently deciding to forget about the comment he just made.
Sam announced "Well I'm out. Aiden?" Aiden snatched up the controller and prepared himself next to Matt.
"You ready for this Ramsay?" I spoke, glancing at him.
Josh affirmed, "Hell yes."
I slowly came to my senses and pried my tired eyes open. My bedroom was filled with bright morning light and I heard the sweet songs of birds outside my window. I sighed, breathing in deeply, remembering last night. With Josh, Matt and the rest of the boys. We stayed up till around 3:00am playing COD and laughing every chance we got. I smiled remembering the sweet sense of joy I had around them. Well, Josh impertucularrly. At one point, when we were sitting on the couch, he put his hand on my upper thy. And when ever I tried to make a joke, he would laugh like I was actually funny. Like I was worth while.
I kept on trying to tell me self this was wrong. Me wanting him to touch me, to talk to me, to laugh with me, it was all wrong. I should instead felt the need to say "Um! Excuse me sir! But for your information, I have a boyfriend!" But instead I wanted to hide that fact so he would continue to say on this little bus of feelings with me. Instead of hating on my self any more, I told my self to enjoy it while it lasts. Its not every day some one comes along and makes you feel this way.
Normally, I just feel like the charity case. The sad yet strong girl with the dead parents. The hard worker who needs a break and the good friend who I will always be there for. Where in reality, I just want to be Penelope. Nothing more, nothing less. Well shit....now I have to explain that orphan thing.
I had a relatively happy childhood. Nice home (nothing fancy but at least it was something), things I wanted, a good school and friends. And of course I had my brothers. Although I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. In fact, I'm still trying to figure that out. Anyway, We grew up in the suburbs of Chicago in the same town I'm in now. My dad was a doctor and my mom was a nurse. Kind of ironic, considering my mom died from cancer. No type of rare cancer, just plain old pancreatic cancer. She had it for a long time, around 6 years, so it wasn't new news to us.
One day, me and Payson were at the grocery store with mom, I remember distinctly looking for canned peas, when she just collapsed. Right in the middle of the isle. The sound of her skull smacking against the fake, white stone floor was sickening. Her brown hair was splayed messily behind her head. I could also see bits of red peaking out from beneath the brown. Payson, only being 3 at the time began to sob. I was 7 and all I remember doing after that was screaming for help.
