I stared at myself in the wall length mirror in the bathroom. My dark auburn brown hair was waving and messy, parted to the side, and tucked behind one ear. My light brown eyes were dark against my almost pale skin, surrounded by eyeliner and tasteful, but not my style, mascara. The only other makeup I had on was a dusting of blush, powder and concealer. I blinked, my eyelashes felt heavy. Alexis had put me in dark wash skinny jeans and an ivory and blue floral top along with my black converse. I had put my foot down, literally, when she suggested heels. As for jewelry, I just had simple studs in and a few gold rings.
"Alexis. No."
"What!? You look great! There is no way in hell Josh wont like you after tonight once he sees you like this." She emerged from my room, into the bathroom, and stood behind me, flicking a piece of hair over my shoulder.
"So what your saying is josh is going to like a ugly beached whale in skinny jeans and a spaztastic shirt?" I looked at Alexis's eyes in the mirror.
"Penelope." Alexis spun me around to face her. "You are not an ugly beached whale. You are skinny. And you have a gorgeous face and perfect hair. You are a hot sexy mama. Say it. Say you are a hot sexy mama."
"I will only say I am a hot sexy mama if you promise one day Josh will be my baby daddy." Did I really just say that? Oh my sweet Jesus. What is happening to me? First I was just saying these things in my head and now, now this? Now I'm saying them out loud?!
Alexis smiled at me deviously. "I promise."
"Alright." I mumbled. "I'm a hot sexy mama." Even though I still disagreed with her on this subject, I went along with it. Plus, a little confidence couldn't hurt, right? Especially considering I have virtually zero currently. But aren't all girls confidenceless? No, actually, the beautiful ones with perfect legs, eyes, lips, noses, arms, stomachs, feet, hands, boobs, butts, hair, makeup, cloths, houses, lifes, have shit lodes of confidence. Fucking seas overflowing with confidence! So much so that there isn't enough to go around. And it feels like almost every girl on the planet is perfect except for you. So us other girls, the "peasants", end up hating mirrors, pictures, and anything in the spotlight. Then before we know it we are running cold blades across our numbed skin, attempting to rid our bodies of this aching feeling. I touched my wrists subconsciously. We cry ourselves to sleep at night wondering, "Why cant I be the perfect, too?" I looked away from the mirror. Cringing at my now disgusting reflection.
Alexis saw the change in my mood and instantly tried to change it. She knew that I had issues with my self image and was always finding was to fix it. She hated it when people were upset around her, too. "Hey, hey, hey! Pen, come on! Okay, just imagine it! Your about to see Josh Ramsay again!"
My stomach dropped. My best friend, no matter how good her intentions were, was not helping. I went and sat down on my small single bed, pretzel style.
"Pen, don't be nervous." She walked over to me again. "You. Look. Damn sexy. Don't let anybody tell you different. Not even your self. Now come on, lets go have some fun." She took up my arm and pulled. "Don't make me taze you." She shook her head. A small smile slipped onto my lips. Please not the taze I though. "I will." Alexis stated. I only smiled a little bit more, still resisting her pull. Alexis got into taze position, releasing my arm. I flung back against the wall behind my bed, holding my sides to prevent her taze. She lunged at me, pinching the side of my torso, just above my hip bone. I squealed, "Alexis! Ehhhhhehehe! Okay Okay Alexis Alexis!" She continued pinching. "Ill go I'm going! I happy now! Alexis!" I blasted. She stopped, gathering up my arm again and pulling me towards the door.
Alexis and I were gliding down the dry streets, heading in the direction of the party. Even though it had only stopped raining a couple hours ago, the earth was now only slightly damp and carried a warm sticky breeze. I shifted on the smooth leather seat and faced more towards the window. I let the warm air rush at my face as I started off into the deep woods. The moon was strung high up in the sky, its light muted by a few stray passing clouds. Even for May, weather like this was strange for Illinois. It was usually still snowing here and the wind would carry a bitter sting. But hey, I ain't complaining if the world would like to be kind to me for once. In fact, go right ahead. The world should even make this a usual occurrence.
