It was 2:00 in the afternoon and Alexis and I were sprawled out in the living room watching The Hunger Games movie. We were surrounded by heaps of wool blankets and a bowl of popcorn set between us. Rain splattered the windows with small timid drops, and since the lights were off, a dim grey light filtered into the room.
Alexis and I became friends in freshman year and have been ever since. We had our disagreements and spats, and she pissed me off very easily, but all in all we were like peanut butter and jelly. Once you put us together, don't even try getting us apart. She was also kind of the yin to my yang. She was happy, great at sports, rich, beautiful, smart, and had two parents. Which, I guess, brings me to how I can be so jealous of her. I know, I know, I know. The grass is always greener on the other side blahbiddy blahbiddy blah. But still. And maybe that's why I like being with her. Because I get a little taste of her perfect life. Its also a reminder of what Ill never have. Nonetheless, I love Alexis to death.
At this point in the movie, Katniss was attempting to doge falling burning trees and spheres of fire. In my opinion she was doing a fantastic job. But in Alexis opinion, anything having to do with Jennifer Lawrence sucked. I looked at her incredulously. Of course I knew where she stood on the subject of Miss. Lawerence, but she was just out of line. Its one thing to insult a girls favorite actress, its a whole other fucking story to insult a girls favorite book character. A bad ass book character at that.
"Okay, explain to me how she is doing a sucky job." I insisted, putting air quotes around sucky.
"She should at least be trying to run away from the fire." Alexis said, not taking her eyes of the TV screen.
"She is running away! If you were in her situation, you would already be dead." I protested.
"Dont try and defend her, Penelope. The world needs to know how truly terrible she is." She said, jokingly. Ish.
"How can you possibly dislike her? She is gorgeous and hilarious and appears to also be hardcore. Open your eyes Alexis Jones! Open your eyes to her amazingness!" I said while re fluffing my pillow.
"She is a complete fake! A complete and utter fake I tell you." Alexis cried.
"Oh here we go! Next you'll be saying how "fake" Emma Stone is." I stated, throwing my hands up in the air dramatically.
"Oh god, don't even get me started on Emma Stone." Alexis began. "Just ever thing about her makes me want to puke." Just then Katniss screamed as a fire ball bashed into her leg. "See! See! Look how good of an actor she is!" I motioned towards the TV.
Alexis shrugged. "Eh." She brought a hand full of popcorn to her lips, hiding a slight smile. Sometimes I think people just like to mess with me to get one of my grand ol overdone reactions. I rolled my eyes and kicked her in the shoulder.
After a while, Katniss and Peeta were having one of their romancy cave scenes. She looked deep into his eyes as she fed him a spoon full of soup. "Kiss me" Peeta murmured. Katniss bent her head towards his and their lips connected.
"Speaking of which," I heard Alexis say at the other end of the couch. "You and Will still going strong? Its been like what, two years now?" Her emerald eyes shifted to me.
"Uh..." I hesitated. "Yeah. Yeah were doing great. I mean...ya know...yeah." I stammered, looking at my hands. All I could think of was Josh. How earlier that day, at the library, he had winked at me. How I got butterflies just thinking of him. How he was so sweet and adorable and funny and made my lips stay in a continuous smile. How I wish I could always smile that much. Then my brain would give my heart a very much needed slap back into reality. Even though Will might not make me feel quite as good as Josh makes me feel, and he doesn't make me smile half as much. I love Will. He has been so good to me. Too good to me. He was the first boy who ever really made me feel wanted. I own my loyalty to Will. I owe myself to Will.
"Penelope? I can tell when your lying. Whats up with you and Will?" Alexis asked. Her red hair shone in the dim light. She shifted to face me and placed her pale, milky hands on her lap. "Tell me."
"Well," I began with a intake of breath. "Sam was at a party for some music company yesterday, and afterwards a couple of Sam's friends from the party came here. And so, uh, there were two guys from some band. And um...One of them was really kinda cute. His names Josh Ramsay and oh my, his face is perfection. His body is, too. And Al we clicked. Like we clicked so damn hard its not even funny. Or at least I think we clicked. Maybe it was a one way click...But the point is that I really like him." I rambled on. "What am I supposed to do? I saw him at work today also. He came to return a book. The Fault In Our Starts at that! The Fucking Fault In Our Stars. He lives right by the lake, too! He makes me feel so damn extremely happy! I am not even awkward around him! I could just talk and talk and talk to him for hours. And I miss him. How can I miss him when its only been a few hours?! I don't even miss Will and its been almost 2 days!" I was out of breath and my heart was close to pounding. Oh it felt really good to actually say that out loud.
Alexis looked at me, nodding her head, her wide curled hair bouncing. "Hum..." She said, contemplating what I had just said. "You like him?" She asked, "Like, like like him?" Her thin eyebrows raised. I nodded my head in consent. "I cant really give you any advice until I actually meet him. However, I think...If he makes you feel good...better than you do around Will...then you should go for him. There is no use staying in a relation ship if both partners aren't happy." What? She though I should "go for" Josh? No. I couldn't.
"Alexis, but what about Will? How could I just leave him like that? I love him." I claimed.
"Do you love him?" Alexis demanded. "Do you really love him?" She repeated.
My answer was automatic. "yes. Why wouldn't I?"
"If you loved him, would you be thinking this hard about another guy? Maybe its time for a change."
After that we were silent. We turned back to the movie and concentrated on the trying love story with the unforeseen ending.
Right as the movie finished, Sam walked through the front door, the rain still falling. "Hey guys." He greeted us, throwing down his wet jacket over a chair. Sam worked on the weekends, usually the mornings, but sometimes late into the night. He worked for a record label called Stonecutter Records and during the week, he attended classes at Northwestern. Our parents left us quite a bit of money, but Sam didn't want to take any chances and just live off of that money. So he tried his best to juggle, school, work and raising kids all at the age of 25.
"Where's Blaine and Payson?" Sam asked me as he headed into the kitchen.
"Payson's spending the night at a friends house," I recalled. "and Blaine said he was coming home soon." I called towards the kitchen.
"Alright." Sam emerged with a bag of chips in his hand. He stuffed a few in his mouth and wiped his hands on his kakies leaving a slight grease mark. That's going to be fun to deal with when I do the next load of laundry. He has so respect for my poor laundering abilities. "Oh, and can I ask you for a favor?" Sam pushed his lips up into a pleading smile.
"Do I even have a choice?" I asked.
"Ah, alas, you do not." Sam replied. I pouted. "Okay so I have to head back to work in a few minutes, but at round 5:30 Josh and his band mates are going to come over to pick up some papers. Ill leave them on the kitchen counter. Can you give them the papers?" Sam said.
"Why are you even asking me if I can give them the papers?" I glared at Sam. "I don't have a choice, remember?"
"Right. See you around 8:00." He slipped on his coat and headed back out into the rain.
"Well," I spoke. "It looks like your are going to meet my Mr. Dream boy after all." My heart was already starting to swirl like a fucking tornado.
It was exactly 5:30 when the doorbell rang. In a panic I looked to Alexis who was calmly draped over the couch. "You gonna get that?" She blurted. I'm about to see Josh again. This time I will also meet his so called band. Alexis was also about to mentally judge Josh on his bachlorability. Is she going to like him? What if she thinks he looks too "punk"? I shook my head, stood up and walked over to the front door. I glanced at my self in the mirror in the entry way and quickly flipped my hair. I clasped my fingers around the cold door knob and pulled.
There he was. I hardly even noticed the 3 other guys behind him. "Sup Dr. Peppa."
