I hadn't really realized how long Josh and I had been kissing until he pulled back, gulping down air. My lips were tingling and my head felt numb and clouded over. I could feel the questions my head was constantly asking pushing thought he fog, flashlights and torches in hand. But I wouldn't allow my self to attempt to confront those questions. Not now at least.
So instead I pushed Josh back over onto his back, my fingertips pressed to his chest. His eyes asked a millin questions, probably the same ones I should have been asking myself. I dipped my head, ignornign the rising pain in my sides, and placed my lips on his. Already they felt so fermilliar. I could navigate them just like you walk through your house at night, pitchblack. No problems. You know each and every bend and turn, where the floor sqeaks and which table to avoid. I knew where his lips changed from smooth wood, to cold tile, to plush carpet. His mouth was a map and I was on a roadtrip.
I could almost taste the rosy color of his lips, and the matalicness of the tongue ring. The movement of us together was making me dizzy with happiness. I loved the feeling of his warm body underneath mine, and his soft skin grazing mine.
But my little bliss party was quick to end.
Josh moved up slightly, his back against the arm rest. Our connection broke.
"Penelope." His mouth twitched as he scanned for words. "I like kissing you okay. And when I say I like it, I mean I really like it." He said in an odd voice, with a slight grin. "But you cant just pretend that what happened tonight didnt happen. Because it did. No matter how much any of us wish it didn't, it did."
"I know. Im not- Im not trying to forget it." Lies. "I just don't was to analyze it now. I know I will have to at some point, I just. Ugh." And I slammed my head in my hands. I studied the trails on my palms, feeling my breath reflect back onto my face.
I felt his hand on my back. "You need to sleep. Come on lets go catch some Zs." I nodded my head, looking forward at the ground. Josh stood up. "Alright well im going to go search for another slumber chamber. If you need anything, just holler." He spun on his heels and headed to the doorway leading into he hall. I watched his long figure retreat, his shirt lopsided and his hair ruffled.
I felt a little disappointed, I guess some part of me though he might sleep in here with me. I don't know why I would think that though. Maybe because we had just practically made out? No, stupid me. He was only kissing me cause he felt guilty or something...GOD I don't know. Just shut up brain.
Josh stopped at the door, leaning against it. "Your okay right? No middle of the night seizure or anything?"
I smiled, trying to feel light hearted. "Yeah. I'll make sure to keep the seizures down to a minimum tonight."
"Excellent. Now you enjoy the world of blankets and pillows and happiness, ya hear?"
"Yes sir. I hear."
"Kay sleep tight." He left the door frame, disapeering behind the wall. "Don't let the bed bugs bite!" He called.
I sighed, a huge breath falling from my lips. I chucked my body at the bed, landing on my face, welcoming the pain that leaked through my frame as I shimmied under the sheets. Even though Josh wasn't here with me, I still felt safe and protected. His sent was everywhere around me, from my toes, to the stray fly-away hairs at the top of my head. Joshs signature sent wafted around me, a mix of Old Spice and laundry. It slithered all over me, fusing into my bloodstream and swimming round my body.
I had no clue where I was, all I knew was that I was running. And it felt like it was for my life. Something fluttered at the back of my arm. Somehow I knew it was Will. I could picture him dashing behind me, he looked desperate. Will snatched at my arm again as the scenery flew by my field of vision. Clumps of green shrubs and leaves, and the brown trunks of trees along with the hard forest floor. A forest. Thats were I was. It was in full summer bloom, the sky was white and blue above the tree tops. But it was cold. Way to cold for summer. I realized I could see the puffs of my breath, the fingers reaching before me. "Penelope!" Will called behind me. I said nothing in return. I jerked to the right and instantly I sunk into a deep, thick mud. I was even more terrified than I was before. "Penelope please!" Will attempted to claw through the mud behind me. "HELP! HELP! Oh god please help me!" I screeched, but I didnt know to whom. The mud began to suck me farther down, the more I struggled, the quicker it ate me up. I didn't want Will to touch me. I was petrified. My body screamed at every brush of our skin. The next time I looked up, the mud up to my neck, the stars were out. The day had become night in a matter of minutes and I didnt think anything of it. Goodbye. I thought, this is the end. This all felt too familiar. Then, out of so where, I was dragged from the mud, onto a soft bank of dirt. Eyes the color of the sky that once was plastered above our heads. "Josh!" I yelped, clambering to my feet and squeezing him. He didnt hug me back. He shifted to reveal a heavy black gun gripped in his hand. I sucked in a breath, cold cold cold. He drew up his arm and pointed it to the mud, Will still planted firmly in it, watching us. He is going to kill Will. He is going to kill Will. His blood will mingle above the mud, his body rot here in this forest. His future will go to hell and his family will never know what happened. Why did I care about Will and his life? Seconds ago I would have welcomed his death. But then I threw up my heart, a bloody mess in front of my feet, when Josh turned the gun around, aiming it right at his own head. Pressing into his blond hair, looking so cold. For the first time I noticed the sadness that sunk into his features. His eyes were tired and bloodshot, the blue leaking into a grey. Josh turned at me, his mouth opening to speak. The words never reached past his lips. Bam.
