I sighed and pushed my face into my hands as I stared at the wooden floors of Josh's room. I finally felt like I could breathe again although I was still being strangled. I felt a swirling nausea when ever my mind drifted to Sam. He though I would be better off with Will. My head began spinning so I gently laid back on the soft layers of Josh's bed but that didn't stop the hurricane of thoughts. Razor blades, my dead parents, Blaine and Payson, books, RISD...they all came plummeting into my head at the same instant making it impossible to grasp any one. But then the worst one came crashing down on me. "We aren't going to last any longer than the summer, Josh." I said loud enough for him to hear through the bathroom door where inside he ran the sink. The swoosh of water drowned out the chorus of insects in the night.
He nudged the door open with his foot and looked at me through the mirror. "What?"
I almost felt guilty saying it but I knew it was true. "We wont have anything tying us together anymore. Youll have to go on tour and I..." I waved my vision around the room as if looking for the answer on his shelves and dressers. "well I'll be here." My eyes finally settled on his, looking upset. Josh grabbed a cloth and dried his hands and stalked over to me and pulled my fingertips so I sat upright. His blue eyes smoothed over mine. Flashes of his eyes in gold sunlight went through my minds eye. I would miss him.
"Don't say that. We could be the next Jay-Z and Beyonce if we wanted." A smile tugged at my lips and he looked back at me with a satisfied look. "Lets go to bed." He tilted his head and walked to his side. I hadn't even known there were sides but I knew just where to go. We scooted under the covers, soft grey sheets surrounded me.The lights clicked off and a sheen from the moon slanted through the window from the lake. I felt a hand snake around my waist and pull me close to a warm body which drew my head to its chest. I looked up through my eyelashes at Josh who wore a ghost of an unrecognizable emotion. Slowly my heart slowed and the hurricane drifted off. Josh's sent was all around me, a calming amber smell that clouded my vision and sent my mind into a galaxy of black.
When my eyes split open to the sound of shrieking I found myself alone in the vast, unruly bed. The sun looked warm and it beckoned to be basked in on the carpet near the bay window. Another shriek. Probably some girls that Matt, Mike and Ian had over last night. Not a bone in my body wanted to be moved yet at the same time I wanted to spring up and just run run run. Not away from anything, but towards something. Maybe it had been the intoxicating smell of Josh throughout the whole night or maybe...well...never mind. All I knew was that I wanted to start making my own decisions. I wouldn't be as naive as I was months back and say yes to everything, I would decided my future and what happened in it.
My first decision was that I would get out of bed.
I wandered to the bathroom where I stared at my hair for a few solid minutes. I patted it down with out success and frowned at my reflection. A plain girl, I thought. Plain skin, drab hair, and dry lips canopied by a stubby nose. Unsatisfied with my face I scurried through my bag and pulled out the mascara I jammed in the bag and wiped it on. After rinsing my mouth, attempting to quell the smell, I adjusted my t-shirt and jersey pants Josh gave me and headed down the wide stairs. Rumbling voices accompanied with another yelp came from the kitchen and I instantly had no desire to meet these girls. Quickly I spun on my heels and took a step right into Matt. "Run!" He shouted past my face as I saw his body disappear around the corner.
I glanced back and spotted Ian coming around the corner clutching a pancake with a crazed look. And I ran. "Here comes El Pancake!" He shouted after me. I flew through the maze of rooms, exhilarated once I lost him. I did not know what was going on and seriously questioned the boys sanity but nonetheless I was happy to play along. I headed out of the room that resembled a cluttered dining room and turned the corner. And there josh was, running full speed towards me. Our bodies crashed on the floor. He managed to prop him self just above my face, nearly crushing me. I honestly didn't mind. He was grinning and I know I was too. "Top o' the mornin' to ya." He breathed. "Sleep well?"
"Well yes. Until you annoying hooligans woke me up." I replied while studying his face.
"God you're so rude." I saw him glance to my lips. "...I love it." He brought his mouth down slowly to mine. When his lips connected to mine, something clicked in my brain. I was ready.
A/N So sorry this is short. I'm just not too sure what to write about anymore.
