I was sitting in a dark leather booth pressed up against a window, looking out over the street lined with shops. Josh sat across from me, hunched over his plate. We were at Panera Bread, a smooth jazz music slipped out of hidden speakers, and mingled with the dim yellow lighting.
I crossed my legs under the table, shifting uncomfortably. I was determined to make this outing have absolutely no awkward silences. The car ride here had been fine, Josh kept me smiling the whole way.
"So" He stated, lifting his sandwich, overflowing with meat, to his lips. His lips. His lips on mine. No. Stop stop stop stop. My mind had been traveling at the speed of light since I met Josh. Whenever it would regain its footing, after it had just stood up and sorted its self out, it would slip again. Spill its self everywhere and mix its self up. Josh, Will, Josh, Will, Josh Will? I didn't know what to think, say, feel, or do. At this point, I felt that death might be the better option.
"So." I repeated and brought my soop spoon to my mouth. Steam rose and stuck to my face. Josh set down his food and tented his hands on the table, staring intently at me.
"Tell me about you self." His ocean-like irises stuck to mine.
"My name is Beatrice Ureatha I live in Indiana and I am a tick breeder."
"Tick breeding? That sounds facinating."
"Yes yes. A very tedious process might I say." I giggled and he shook his head, smiling.
"In all seriousness, who are you? Penelope Hadden?"
I bit my lip. "What do you want to know?"
"Like" A pause. "What do you enjoy?"
"Chocolate."
"Chocolates a given. Your an idiot if you don't like chocolate. But what else? Favorite animal?"
"Cats." I rolled my eyes.
"THANK YOU! Josh stood up rapidly, his knees pushing the chair back. He towered over me, raising his hands in the air, causing his shirt to rise up a little. A sliver of his stomach peaked out, I looked away. "Everybody!" He called, looking around the restaurant. "This girl is a damn genius." He pointed at me and I wanted to hide. The other tables grew silent. I lowered my head so my hair fell like a curtain over my face and brought my hand, holding my fork casually up to my face. I was sure every eye in the room was turned to us. God dammit Josh.
"That'll be all." And he plopped down into his seat, his hair slapped againt his forhead.
"I could literally murder you right now." My face burned.
"Nah. Our bond of cat loving is too strong. It prevents us from harming each other."
"I wouldn't be so sure about that." I sipped my ice water, hoping to quell the heat that had built in my cheeks. Josh had me constantly loving and hating him. He looked down at his food, stabbing the bread repeatedly with a toothpick.
"Uh..." Josh drew his eyebrows together. "I've been meaning to ask you somthing."
Uh-oh.
"About the night. Um. After the party. When I brought you home."
We cant be talking about the kiss. I wanted to erase that from my mind. In fact, I was beginning to realize that that was a huge mistake. Kissing Josh technically made me a cheater. I wasn't okay with that. I was not okay with being unloyal to Will and on top of that, Josh probably didn't want to kiss me.
"I know." I said hurridly. "That was a mistake. Im sorry. Because I have a boyfriend and what I did was wrong. So-so maybe we can just be friends? If you want?"
