All I Care About

The Imaginary

It's been several minutes since Jinho woke up, finding himself on the floor of his apartment, and unable to figure out exactly what happened the night before. How did he even end up on the floor?

Jinho abruptly sat up, and immediately regretted it. His head started spinning and every part of his body ached, especially his jaw. He let out a pained groan.

What the hell happened last night?

He slowly made his way to the bathroom, and as soon as he spotted his reflection in the mirror, he gasped. There was a reddish purple bruise on his lower jaw, a cut, and a bit of swelling on his lips. He scrunched his face as he thought about how he got these injuries in the first place. He's never gotten into random fights when drunk, so he ruled out that possibility. Besides, he was at a noraebang with his other friends, celebrating his birthday, so why would –

Then suddenly images of a furious Sehun flashed through his mind, and Jinho widened his eyes. Sehun.

From what he does remember, Sehun worked at the noraebang and they ran into each other before separating. Jinho squeezed his eyes shut and tried his best to remember exactly what those images of Sehun meant.

Slowly, he recalled the moment Sehun's fist came in contact with his face, and damn can Sehun pack a punch, but more importantly why did he punch him? What did Jinho do to push Sehun to react that way?

Jinho's breath hitched when he realized that there could only be one explanation – Luhan.

The reason why Sehun would be upset to the point of using his fists could only be Luhan.

What happened with Luhan?

Jinho's frantically searching for the answer in his hazy memory when he suddenly heard Luhan's broken voice begging him to stop. Stop? What does he –

Jinho gripped the sink when Luhan's voice got louder and far more desperate.

"JINHO! LET ME GO!"

"NO! JINHO STOP!"

"SEHHHUNNNNN!"

Jinho's legs gave way when he no longer hears Luhan's screams, only to be replaced with the heart wrenching image of Luhan staring up at him, terrified and helpless. Jinho closed his eyes and he could see the tears in Luhan's eyes as the boy continued to thrash around underneath him.

No....No.

Trembling, Jinho covered his face with his hands and screamed.

What have I done?!

He wasn't supposed to confess like that! Jinho had oftentimes dreamt about how he would tell Luhan about his feelings, and none of the scenarios in his head included physically restraining the boy and forcing himself on him. No. That wasn't the reality he wanted. So far from it.

Two hours later and Jinho was still sitting on his bathroom floor, unable to move since realizing what he did to Luhan and why Sehun had punched him. He knew that he should go lay down, but he couldn't. His mind was still trying to process why he had snapped – why he would do something so terrible to someone he cares so much about.

Memories of the events from last night was coming back to him gradually, and even as he pieced together the full story, there was nothing that warrant his action. He had no excuse. Sure, he was under the influence, but alcohol was not to blame. He's been drunk plenty of times, but he's never acted in such a despicable manner. It definitely wasn't the alcohol. No. It was him. All him.