The Caged Passion ( A Michael Jackson Fanfic)

Chapter XXIX

Saturday November 7, 2009 9:35 PM

Michael

Kissing Arilynn felt the same way a cough drop does to a sore throat. It was soothing and sweet - honey flavored. I didn't want it to stop... but I reluctantly pulled away, staring down at her lips glistening with the residue from our kiss. I kept my forehead against hers and took a deep breath, smelling her freshly shampooed hair.

Part of me kept saying 'take her Michael... you don't want to be alone with your thoughts when you get home tonight.' That nap I took earlier would see to it that I wouldn't be falling asleep anytime soon. I'd rather lay awake in the warmth of someone's arms tonight than clutching my cold pillow in one arm and my cell phone in my other hand, crying for a woman who wasn't going to call me back.

I've been in this place before... with Diana, only much worse. I did in fact hear from her only to hear her tell me she was getting married to someone else and that she expected me to be happy for her.

I shuddered at the reminder of the torturous nights after that phone call. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. I was alone, more alone than ever at that time.

"Are you ok?" Arilynn whispered to me, stroking my cheek in her hand. I squeezed my eyes shut, just absorbing the warmth in her touch.

'you don't have to be alone this time.'

The thought reoccurred to me. I opened my eyes and raised them to hers slowly. Her eyebrows were furrowed slightly in genuine concern.

I kissed her again. This time with more sureness. I tried to keep the animal in me at bay knowing that I would not be able to handle her the way I do... No, I refused to say her name. Feeling her get a little tense in my grip, I slowed down and broke the kiss again.

"Yeah... I'm fine." I smiled wide. My signature 'Yes, everything is fine' smile when in reality I'd rather cry. The smile was second nature to me and believable to most, but the concern in her eyes didn't fade...

I knew didn't have to suffer alone, I had someone I could confide in this time.

"I mean... you don't want to hear about it." I laughed nervously and looked down at the sand.

"Sure I do." She smiled a little, touching my arm in reassurance.

Her reaction earlier made it loud and clear, she was done being played games with and I'm done playing too. If there was at least to be hopes of even a friendship with her, honesty would have to come first. "But I have to be honest with you right now..."

Her smile faded fast and I chuckled a little. "N..no... just hear me out, ok?"

She nodded and looked down sadly. I picked her chin up and forced her to look at me. "There's been someone else..."

She swallowed so hard, I could hear it loud and clear. Her eyes travelled around my face then back to my eyes.

"Someone... else?"

"Yeah... a girl I met in Vegas during rehearsals. She wanted to have this no strings attached kind of fling..." I chuckled at how ridiculous it sounded out loud. Arilynn looked a bit mortified. Hey, she wants to know me? She needs to know the real Michael. "...but I fell for her anyway." Her mortified expression softened into one of sympathy. "I'm used to being able to sway people's opinions... I guess... initially... I didn't think it would end up like this..." I seemed to have lost her so I further explained. "She basically asked me not to contact her anymore."

"I see..." she said looking down again. "So, I was just the afterthought girl after all..." she said with a sad laugh.

"No... Arilynn, it wasn't like that. I was just caught up in her allure, but she's made it clear herself that she's not the right woman for me." Maybe I wasn't being entirely honest, but in that moment I wanted to believe in that statement just as much as I wanted Ari to.