Hate That Monsta LXVER (ENGLISH VERSION)

Chapter 28

Me: Sordid?

I.M: I told you not to interrupt me.

I wasn't sure to want to know what happened anymore. Maybe he had taken that word like that. I.M loved to use words just to use them. At the same time, his expression was very serious and I doubted he was in the mood "let's use words which I half don't know the meaning."

I.M: Some things happened before Jooheon became a trainee at the agency.

Some "things" happened? He talked a lot but didn't say anything specific.

I.M: Jooheon had no girlfriend for 2 years. I don't know if you're ready to hear it.

Me: I don't know either.

I.M: Well I'll tell you anyway.

I felt like in those moments with friends when we tell scary stories. Most times, it's easy to predict what will happen. Except that in this case, I had no idea and it was a true story.

I.M: Jooheon's girlfriend was similar to you. I mean, she aspired to enter Starship's agency - besides, she practiced with Jooheon and prepared her audition with him, because it was expected the same day - and she wanted to be a rapper. He also said you looked like her in your behavior, you had a similar character.

Me: The girl left him and he suffered a lot and I make him think of her, right?

I.M: Not quite... Certainly your personalities were similar, but her jealousy was much sharper than yours. If I didn't know you well, I wouldn't be able to say whether or not you're jealous. Since Jooheon wasn't very demonstrative in love, she thought he didn't really like her. She was very afraid he goes elsewhere. From there began her extreme jealousy. Despite this, Jooheon was crazy about her. He simply had difficulties in showing her.

Me: I understand more. Her jealousy had become so extreme that it was sordid?

Yes, all I wanted was the punch. For now, nothing very impressive except that crazy girl. Excuse me, I meant jealous girl.

I.M: No, but wait a minute. When the time will come you'll know.

What an unnecessary waiting. Just to tell me he had a girlfriend would have been enough. No need to tell me the story of his life with her.

I.M: 5 days before their audition, she got very mad at Jooheon because she saw him walking with a girl when he came out of his house (which meant she followed him). She also read his text messages. She saw that there were 3 girls she didn't know in his contacts. She left crying shouting that he was a horrible boyfriend, that he didn't take care of her and that he cheated on her with anyone. She slammed the door on leaving. Then he never saw her again after.

I was waiting for the sequel. I.M had stopped at that time. I threw him a puzzled look. It was obvious that I didn't understand the gravity of the situation. If he could explain to me at least.

Me: So she left him and he suffered a lot.

I.M: Ha Ne...

Me: Oh! And I remind him of her. This is exactly the same as I said just now isn't it?

I.M: Yes, and I repeat that it's not this.

Breathe, Ha Neul, breathe. If that's not it, why doesn't he just tell me? It's starting to annoy me. If he has something important to say, why he goes through four paths? I didn't want a history lesson.

Me: I'm waiting.

I.M: She committed suicide.

I lost my teeth.

I felt a little fresh wave of guilt coming over me. I slightly regretted to have put pressure on him. At the same time, I have always found that to commit suicide for someone was exaggerated. Except that as long as it didn't happen to us, I guess we can't understand.

Me: That girl clearly needed help.

I.M: That's what Jooheon realized after he knew about her death. He felt guilty for taking her actions lightly. This kind of jealousy often hides much bigger problems. He's also mad at him for not having loved her as he should have. Then he was afraid to love again, afraid that such events happen to him again. He tried to push you away because he wanted to avoid this and avoid you suffering in this relationship.

I had a lot to digest at once. Silence reigned until we returned home. Then we finished eating... Without appetite. Eunmi and my father went out. I didn't know where they went, I didn't care a bit. I wanted to see Jooheon more than anything. But not right now. My mood was shot dead by the evocation of a weak and insecure Jooheon who had suffered severely. I wanted to hug him and tell him that everything was fine, that such a thing wouldn't happen again.

I watched TV with I.M. Although he knew the story for a while now, he was still affected as much.

Me: By the way, why did you have to inform me of this story? Why not letting him tell me?

I.M: I just want you to be careful in what you say and do. BBe careful with the bad taste jokes you make. Try to make him see the bright side of being in a relationship again, create new memories with him. And most importantly, don't ask him questions about his former relationships. I gave myself this mission. The mission to show him a new world where being a couple should never end in bloodshed.

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Jooheon: Your articulation in the third sentence isn't correct. You have to open your mouth to rap. Looks like you got a potato in the mouth. Don't be afraid to say the words properly.

Me: I know, but at the speed I have to say it, how can you understand something?

He began rapping this part, and I realized that it was quite possible to say the words quickly and properly.

Jooheon: Do it again.

In the previous week, I spent most of my time with Jooheon who helped me prepare my rap. By showing my ability to sing, dance and rap, I should have a chance.

Only one week left. One. I saw Jooheon getting nervous. To believe he was more stressed than me. It would be nice to be part of the same agency. I liked to feel that he was worried about me. Although this was perhaps due to his anxiety disorder. He finally admitted that he was suffering from anxiety. I connected it directly to the death of his ex. He hadn't told me. And I think it was better this way, but if he did, I'd be glad he trusted me enough to make me know.

With a week of auditions, Monsta X's guys had three days off. They all went to visit their parents. Except Jooheon, he was happy to have the dormitory for himself. For ourselves.

End of chapter 28! Thanks to follow the fiction and to vote^^

Gamsahabnida!