Almost

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Standing on top of this roof for the fourth time, I look over at the city and see all the light blazing the skyline of New York City.

I've been up here for almost an hour, finally thinking I have the guts to jump off. It's my 2nd attempt to suiciding, but I can never get myself to run off. Always stopping at the edge then falling back to the sharp gravel.

You are so weak, just get it over with, my conscious said to me. But it's true I am weak, I can't do anything right. That why Shawn my boyfriend left me for another girl, my parents hate my guts. No cares for me.

That's part of why I want to die, also because everyone makes fun me at school. My grades are slipping and I'm afraid I won't get into a college.

But what hurts the most is who I thought was the love of my life cheated on me. But who wouldn't, I'm not pretty or skinny, I'm scared of everything. Hell, I don't even know why Shawn would ask me to date him.

I thought we were going to be one of those high school sweethearts and tell our children how we met in the gym, while in P.E. when he carried me to the nurses after I fractured my foot climbing the rope, and falling down.

Okay this time (Y/N), just get it over with.

I get up on my feet whiling away the tears trickling down my cheeks. I walk to the back of the roof getting ready to run like the past 2 failed attempts. No one is going to miss you.

I close my eyes, suck in a deep breath and run. As I open my eyes the edge is merely 10 feet away so I begin picking up my speed.

Closer and closer the edge gets and I'm having second thoughts again but I remind myself that my life sucks and that motivates me more.

As my shoes are on the edge someone tackles me by my side, pushing us both on the ground. The impact of the fall made me get more cut up, but that's nothing new.

I groan running my hand though my hair as I pick up my head.

"What the hell were you thinking (Y/N)?" Shawn exclaims besides me.

My eyes open and are alert of the situation. I whip my head to face his eyes.

I can see tears glossing his eyes as his nostrils are flared and his eyes brows are pulled together.

I look at him in disbelief and scoff "Why the hell did you stop me."

"Maybe because I didn't want you to die?!" He growls.

"Go back that girl you've been fucking, leave me alone." I snap getting up and walking to the rusty door.

But he ignores my response and grabs my shoulder gently, causing me to turn around. I push his hand off and walk away praying he'll let me be.

I feel his presence behind me and the next thing I know is Both of his hands snake around my waist securely making sure I don't anywhere this time.

  "For god sakes, I didn't cheat on you (Y/N) she's just a friend, and we were drunk and she kissed me. I didn't return the gesture and instantly pulled away. I would never cheat on the love of my life. And if I cheated would I tell you. You didn't even give me time to explain. Your stubborn butt left." He explained all in one breath.

  I thought about it for a second and realized he was right. Great.

  Now I feel embarrassed, and Shawn won't let this go.

  "How did you find me anyway?" I ask him.

  " I came over to your house and your parents have been worried sick about you. They said you were out for a long time, and wouldn't pick up your phone." He answered. "And when you are sad, I always know you are up here, it's your sad place."

I just snorted " yeah right, they don't about me, it's just an act."

  "Oh my god (Y/N), they do care and love you, why don't you except that." Shawn moaned.

"You need food, you are really pale." He added.

  I shook my head cuddling into his chest and not being so tense, saying I forgive or I'm sorry, cause it was my fault I assumed that he cheated.

  "You have to, if you do, we can watch a movie and cuddle at my house." Shawn test.

  I finally give in and nod my head rolling me eyes.

" But (Y/N) please promise me that you won't try what you just did again, I can't lose you." Shawn mumbles in my hair.

  " I can't any promises." I respond.

  His eyebrows pull together " Then I guess I'll have to be with you 24/7."

" I wouldn't mind that." I say.

"Go to the car, I have to find the car keys that I lost up here, I'll meet you down in a sec." Shawn lies. It's easy to know when his ears turn red.

  I nod and begin to distant myself to the door. When he turns around I go behind the wall next to the door and see what he is really doing.

  Shawn takes out his phone and calls someone.

"Hi, yea I found her she's good, I'm going to take her out to eat Mrs. (Y/L/N) if that's okay with you. Yea sure I'll take her home tomorrow because I promised her a movie. Alright yea have a good night."

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I'm sorry this is crap :(

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