Shawn Mendes Imagines

Worthless

(Y/N POV)

Sobs echo throughout the pitch black room, every fiber in my body shaking.

I shouldn't have said yes. I shouldn't have let him in.

But it was too late. He was this masked angel but after what we done, the mask was off. I see who he truly is now.

A devil.

A devil that uses my body when he's bored.

A devil that plays with my heart like a piece of paper, easily thrown away. Easily tired of it.

There is no ounce of pride in me left, all taken, ravished and burned by his hands.

I shouldn't have let him in, knowing my fate already.

I shouldn't have been so weak, knowing he'd leave right after.

I thought he loved me. I really did.

But if it did, I wouldn't be crying in the middle of the night, to know he's left my bed to be in another girls'.

I need to get rid of this desire, this lust.

But we both know damn well it's not any of that.

I LOVE HIM.

But all he does is break my heart, over and over, over.

Over
Over and
Over.

"I love you." My ass.

"You're the only one I love." You know what's pathetic about this one? That I actually believed it.

I believed everything that came out of his damn mouth because I was so infatuated with the thought.

The thought of him loving me.

But my heart can't take this anymore.

If I keep going, ignoring his conversations with girls behind my back, how he'd meet up with them after me, there will be no piece of me left.

I will say no.

I will leave.

I will not destroy myself.

Not for someone who won't even let me be happy. Not once.

My thoughts run wild and soon a headache sets in.

  You are a constant reminder of how worthless I am, but not anymore.

  Starting now, not ever.

****

(6 months later)

I sigh as I grab the Chinese takeout, out of the microwave and setting it down on the counter.

  I place a plate down and put the hot food onto it, grabbing a fork from the drawer.

  I sit down in the living room of my new apartment, the one I purchased 2 hours from where I use to live, 6 months ago.