Frontier Horizon

Chapter XLVI: Night One (Part II)

Y Z R A

"Why are you suddenly doing this?" Matapos kong bitawan ang mga salitang iyon ay nais kong magpalamon sa lupa. Tama si dad, pagsisisihan ko rin ang mga salitang lalabas sa aking mga labi kaya mas mabuting itikom ko na lang ang aking bibig.

"Right, you must be surprised by my unannounced arrival." Binitawan niya pansamantala ang kutsarang kahoy na ginagamit niya panghalo ng aming pagkain at inilagay ito sa isang plastik. "Honestly, I think the proper question is why am I doing this only now. Pero hindi na rin iyon importante sapagkat wala naman akong sagot sa parehong tanong."

Mula sa lata, isinalin niya ang tomato soup sa isang maliit na tasang kahoy. Iniabot niya ito sa akin at sinenyasan niya akong kumain.

"I could blame your dad all day, but I know we're both at fault. Hindi ko siya pinigilan; hindi ako nagsalita. I may not hurt you physically, but I still hurt you for letting all of it happen." She got herself a portion of tomato soup too. Hinipan-hipan niya ito bago sumubo ng isang kutsara.

"I got too confident that I'm not gonna lose you. I was convinced that your father got it all under control, that he knew what he's doing." Her hands started to tremble. Her eyes were full of anger and resentment. She made a face I have never seen before. "I thought he knew better."

I took another spoonful of the bland tomato soup. I appreciate that she's not tolerating my father's doing. That she, too, was feeling angry. Somehow, it gave me comfort. It made me realized that all the feelings I'm bottling up inside are valid.

"Does father really hate me?" tanong ko gamit ang mahinang boses at niyakap ang aking mga tuhod. Every muscle I have was aching and the cold wind was not helping at all. Mas lalo akong nakakaramdam ng pagkangalay.

Umiling naman siya bilang tugon. "The Deathstalkers' history really haunts him. After losing control and annihilating his whole family except Iris, Izeno feared and hated himself. It's not you who he hates, anak."

"Habang lumalaki ka, nakikita niya ang sarili niya sa'yo. After all, kayong dalawa ang magkamukha at parehas dumadaloy ang Keres' Blood sa inyong katawan." Pumulot siya ng ilang sanga sa tabi at idinagdag ito sa panggatong, dahilan upang muling lumakas ang apoy. "I won't justify his methods and actions, but I believe he's doing that to avoid that from happening again, so you won't have to share the same burden."

"How about you, mother? Are you scared of me?" Panandalian siyang natigilan. Kita sa kaniyang mukha na hinahanap niya ang mga tamang salita upang maipaliwanag ang kaniyang anggulo.

"No, I was not," panimula niya. "But when your father killed his relatives, I was there. I witnessed the horror in his eyes after he realized what he had done. I have no want to see you with that same expression, that's why I want you to control that blood of yours."

"I assume that's the same reason why you let father to do what he wanted to me, correct?"

"I wished I stayed by your side." Nakaramdam ako ng kirot sa aking dibdib. Noong bata pa ako, iyan din ang aking hinihiling.

"Will you stay now?" My question caught her off guard, but she nodded her head slowly.

Ilang minutong bumalot ang katahimikan sa amin. Tanging ang mga ingay lang ng kuliglig at ang malakas na ihip ng hangin lang ang maririnig. Papasok na sana ako ng tent nang basagin ng aking ina ang katahimikan.

"Do you mind if I ask you some questions?"

"No, mother."

"How was your stay in Medallion City?" Hindi ko maiwasang magtaka dahil sa kaniyang naging tanong. Wala akong ideya kung saan nagmula ito.

"It was. . ." Nagkaroon ako ng pag-aalinlangan. Hindi ko alam ang aking isasagot dahil hindi ko masyadong binigyang pansin ang pananatili namin sa siyudad. Inilibang ko ang aking sarili sa ibang bagay—mga bagay na hindi ko nais ipagbigay-alam sa kaniya. ". . .okay, I guess."

"Lora told me you're seeing a guy. Is he trustworthy?" I can sense strictness from her voice even though she used a soft tone. Bigla akong nakaramdam ng kaba nang walang dahilan.

"I'm not. He's just a business partner."

"What kind of business you two have?" tanong ng aking ina na may halong pang-iintriga. Lora poisoned her mind already.

"He happened to have the information that I needed, so I accepted his deal." I'm not liking where this is going. Why would Lora brought him up to mother in the first place? I made it clear that no one else should know about our investigation. Not my sister, not my mother—no one. "Why are we talking about him?"

"Your cousin told me she does not like his guts, but of course I need to know your opinion." She cleared your throat. "It's probably not my place anymore to say this, but I want you to surround yourself with only people who you can trust. If you do not see this man dependable and true, I believe it will be for the best to cut ties with him."

"You want me to stay away from him?" My head was filled with confusion. Does mother know who Loris Saiz is and what kind of man is he? Something's going on, I just can't pinpoint it.

"Well, I'll ask you again. Is he trustworthy?"

I don't know. To begin with, I don't even know if I'm capable of trusting anyone. I trusted my father, but he's the person who hurt me the most. I trusted my mother, but she left me all alone. Every time I gave my trust to someone, my heart always ended up being shattered. Kaya upang maprotektahan ko ang aking sarili, mas pinili kong mamuhay sa mundong puno ng duda. In that way, no more hope will be crushed.

"I'm asking you a tough question, no? Let's just put it this way. What kind of person is he?"

"He's unpredictable but straightforward at the same time. He's egotistical but can be thoughtful somehow," walang kabuhay-buhay na sagot ko, dahilan upang malawak na ngumiti ang aking ina at napatango-tango.

"Ganiyan mo rin nilarawan si Lora noong bata ka, full of contradiction. I now understand." Tumayo ang aking ina at pinagpagan ang kaniyang sarili. "Nasisigurado kong masama pa rin ang iyong pakiramdam kaya magpahinga ka na. Ako na ang bahalang magbantay ngayong gabi."

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April 28, 2022 UPDATE
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