Fallen - BWS

Chapter 6: Thoughts

Brad's POV,

"So she called you last night because Angie wanted you to tell you good night?" Hanna, my therapist asked as I was explaining yesterday's events.

"Yeah, when I saw he name appear on my phone I got scared you know? She hasn't answered my text or calls for at least three years and suddenly she calls me? I was so scared something was wrong, scared Justin hurt her or that something happened to Angie." I explain sipping on my coffee that Hanna's assistant has made me. It needed less coffee and more sugar, but I wasn't going to point that out right now.

"And how did it make you feel when you realised she was Okaii?" Hanna questions me.

"I was so relieved, yet scared because I didn't know why she was calling, and it took a while to actually get to the point. There was also small hope, maybe that she realised that she needs me back you know?" I make my point and explain my feelings. Hanna sighs a little.

"Brad, she's trying to help you get better, not hop into bed with her," what she said made me angry. It made me rage. She made Maggie out to sound like a slut who would jump into bed with me. I realised that I needed to be calm and took a few breaths.

"I know, but it's a hope, nothing wrong with it is there?" I check with her.

"No, I just don't want to encourage that hope, so you don't get false hope and end up disappointed if in the future you won't be together." She clicks her pen and write something in the diary that she keeps where she writes how it all goes.

"We will. We have Angie, she will bring us together." I say proudly. Angie means the world to me, and I know I missed her first steps and words, but I don't want to miss her first day of secondary school, or her prom, or graduation. I want to be there for her no matter what, along for her mother, because she was the first woman I truly loved.

"How do you think your band mates are feeling now that you're more sober and not slurring your words?" She asks and waits for my answer, her pen ready to take down what I say. I understood why she did that, it made me realise that actually these session are helping me one way or another.

"I think they're more relaxed." I say and she nods for me to continue. "James isn't so protective over Summer, this morning we all had breakfast, and they told me that they've found out that their baby is a girl," I smile proudly for them.

"That's nice," she adds and writes.

"Yeah, and also I had time to catch up with Tris, and get his view on the whole situation," I carry on.

"And what did he say?" Hanna stops writing and looks at me.

"That he thinks she's giving me another chance, even as friends, that she's not the enemy and that she wants me to get better." I leave out some bits he says, I feel like Hanna doesn't need to know everything.

"I think he's right Brad, she isn't the enemy." She smiles.

"Who is?" I say afraid of what she may come out with.

"I think the only enemy in this situation are your own thoughts. If you make them out negative then that's what they will be and that's the mood you will be left in." She tells me calmly then writes some more. My own thoughts?
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I was at home, making myself a cup of another coffee. I only recently begun to drink it, I heard it 'sobers you up' so I'm trying. I've not drunk anything, and it's beginning to come back a little. I know I have to hold it back, because I don't need 'booze' in my life. Alcohol does the worst to me, and I know I would loose whatever it is I've managed to build up with Mags.

The phone call to Angie yesterday left me to cry a little before bed. That Hanna doesn't need to know either, she's seen me brake down in her office and that's embarrassing enough. I was so happy that I was able to hear her, and sing her to sleep. I was able to speak to them both.

Hearing Justin tell my little girl he's buy the movie 'Tangled' so she could explain it more to him made me feel a mixture of emotions. One I was mad, furious because he gets to be with my little girl everyday and gets to do things that I should be doing. The other was happiness, because he was taking her as if she was his own. Which sounds bad, why are you happy about that? Because it means her childhood will be nice and not with a man who hates her or something.

I don't know why I would even doubt the choice in men Maggie has, she puts Angie before herself, I'm sure of that.

"Hey Brad," Summer comes in and puts the shopping bags on the table.

"Hey, are there anymore I can bring in for you from the car?" I didn't want her to be dragging things from the car when she's pregnant.

"Nope, just these, but thanks. How was your session?" She asks sitting down, clearly exhausted from her trip to the shops.

"It went good," I started to put the food away to save her from doing it. "I'm starting to feel a lot better, feel like it's all worth something." I smile as does she. "Want water or something?" I offer.

"A glass of water would be great," she smiles and I get a glass from the cupboard and fill it with water before giving it to her. "Thank you. And I'm glad that you're feeling better about it all, you'll make a brilliant uncle to our little," she smiles.

"I'll try my best, can I spoil her?" I smile knowing that there's loads of positives all around me.

"I think James will anyway, but go for it," she giggles.
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