Fallen - BWS

Chapter 19: Weekend At Brads Part 4

Maggie's POV,

"Higher! Higher!" Angie giggles as Brad is pushing her on the swings in the park. We went out for lunch for which Con joined us, but then excused himself, apparently he was meeting some of his friends for an evening out. It was nice to have him around, I stopped hanging out with the gang as much when everything was going on with Brad. It was either they come to mine and Justin's or we would meet out. I was too scared to come to theirs and Brad arrive. 

If I am honest with you, from the beginning I knew Brad and I were kind of 'unfinished business'. I was afraid that if we made up once this would happen, we would just end up falling back for each other. Now don't get me wrong, it isn't supposed to be a bad thing, but I'm scared it's just a continuous hoop. 

I get insecure, Brad has cheated on me with the same girl so many times, that it actually made me feel like I wasn't good enough. I remember when I was scared every time Justin went out, incase he forgot Angie and I lived there and brought some girl home. Luckily, that has never happened. He really likes me, he loves me, he tells me everyday. This is why I can't just leave him. A part of me hopes that he makes a mistake so I have a valid reason to leave him.

No. I don't know okaii?!

"Mags, you okaii?" Brad walks up to me as I am sitting on the picnic blanket that he has brought and sits next to me, but leaving some space between us. 

"Yeah, you're really good with her, she really loves you, I can see it." I tell him honestly. I see it, every time she is with him she has this spark in her eyes. 

"I try my best, I already missed a lot of her childhood Mags, I want to be in the rest of her life, I don't want to be a stranger to her." He tells me and instantly I feel guilty, I made him miss her first words, steps and other things. But can you blame me? I was so scared of everything, I couldn't live my life in fear, I did that before I got adopted. 

"I'm sorry," I whisper and play with the grass, looking at it go through my fingers. 

"It's alright, I don't blame you." It makes me kind of feel better when he says that, but still... "It makes me want to be a better father for her now." He takes my hand put I pull away and look up at him, and he seems hurt.

"Brad, anyone could see," I sigh. 

"Mags I can't do this," He looks into my eyes, with hurt and almost tears. 

"D-do w-what?" I stutter looking into his, feeling like I don't want to hear what he is going to say. 

"This. Mags I bloody love you, but it's not fair on me," he doesn't even have to carry on for me to know what he is meaning and I know. "I would do anything for you and our daughter Angie. But I can't have you kissing me behind closed doors but then the moment we are out you be on this massive caution. Please, make up your mind Mags." He says softly. "Even if it is to stay with Justin, I will respect it, because this is unfair on both him and I." He wipes away the tears that are falling down my cheeks with his thumb. "And don't cry, beautiful girls aren't supposed to." He slightly smiles and pulls me into his chest, and I let him. 

-

"Thank you daddy for letting us stay!" Angie cuddles Brad as I put her bag back in the boot. 

"Well I hope I get to see my princesses again soon," he tells her and smiles while I shut the boot. Brad and I haven't said much to each other since our conversation at the park. Even though he didn't specifically say, he basically meant that it's either him or Justin. And I get that, it is indeed unfair on both of them but I just don't know what to do. 

"You will!" Angie quickly tells him. 

"Come on the darling lets get you strapped in," I tell her and she nods, letting go of Brad and getting into the car. I make sure she's comfortable before doing her seatbelt and shutting her door. 

"You will let her come back won't you?" Brad seemed nervous.

"Of course, as long as you don't touch alcohol you're good," I smile as does he, relaxing slightly as he pulls me into his chest. 

"I'm sorry for making it awkward earlier, I just wanted you to know I love you Mags," he plays with my hair and holds me close.

"I know, you didn't make it awkward, you just made me think about everything." I tell him cuddling into him more, not wanting to let go and go home. I feel like everything is going to be different when I go back to Justins home. I'm scared of what I will find, whether or not my feelings are or aren't there for him. I need to sort this out within myself and by myself. 

"Do you, do you love me Mags?" He pulls away slightly looking down at me. I nod, biting my lip because I know I can't force myself to say it out loud. He leans down and kisses me, my lips instantly colliding with his making butterflies erupt in my stomach. No matter what my feelings for this boy are strong, too strong if anything. I pull away from the kiss and kiss his cheek. 

"See ya Brad," I tell him and get into the car, hearing a slight 'bye I love you' as I walk away from him and get in, doing up my seatbelt and pulling out of his drive. 

"Mummy, I would like to live with daddy one day, and bring Lala and Bella!" Angie smiles, which only causes tears to spring out of my eyes. 

>REQUEST AN UPDATE< 

Hey, it's exams this week and next, so please don't murder me if the updates are slow I have to focus. They may be mocks but they're important to me.