Back To The Start (ON HOLD)

Chapter 28 - Not So Disney Day

Chapter 28 – Not So Disney Day

      The effort that Alec had shown for today was almost enough for me to forget about what happened.

      Almost.

      Every ride we took was a minute or less of happiness. The thrill was still there but once the ride had stop everything was coming right back at me like tons of waves crashing to the shore. And to think that I was still unhappy even though Alec was doing everything he can to make me happy made me sadder.

      Why was I being like this? It was so unfair for him.

      But it won't take a day for me to recover. I have been pushing away these feelings for so long, they have already grown inside of me.

      "Do you want to eat waffles?" Alec asked with his hand interlocking with mine.

      I nodded my head with a light yes, but my eyes was trained on our interlocked hands. It was sweet and familiar but another part was bitter and foreign. Another unfair part is that I was still angry. Angry with what he did, even though I know deep inside he has nothing to do with happened. God he doesn't even know what happened.

       Alec chose a bench that faced sleeping beauty castle. He let me sit with my hand still on his. I was quiet the whole time but he never stopped talking.

      "Stay here, I'll be back five minutes top!" he said.

      I nodded my head but didn't say anything further. The thought of him leaving me even in just mere minutes panicked me. But I didn't show. It was creepy and needy. I didn't like that. Alec turned his back and started to walk away and my heart pumped against my chest painfully. Breathing seemed like a hard task, but I did everything to calm me down. I was having a panic attack. Soon Alec was gone in the crowd. That's when I lost it.

      My chest was heaving and I was clutching my heart for my dear life. I was panting. I was taking all the air that I could get, but there was none. Everything was starting to become black. I could hear murmurs, shouts of help. Someone held me by the shoulder.

      NO. NO.

      I wanted to scream, but nothing came out. I was drowning but there was no water.

      Alec.

      He left me again.

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      Everything was hazy. The place was foggy and cold. Like the rain was just lurking somewhere, waiting for the right time to fall.

      London. I was back in London.

      I looked around me and saw trees. Huge trees that expanded through the clearing. I knew this place. I can never forget about this place. With my hand clutching my hoodie I walked. Dried leaves crushed under my shoe as I walked towards--- well, I have no clue.

       I remember Alec. I remember being in Disneyland. I remember him walking away. I remember having a panic attack. So how was I in London? Am I dreaming? If I was, I didn't want to wake. The place was calming, almost as if I was in heaven. And in deed I was in heaven. The last memory I had in the place I was in was sweet. All the bitterness that I had in me was gone. This place was my safe haven, a place where I was pure and innocent.

      My feet stopped when I saw it. A small little house was just built on top of a tree. It was painted in different colors as if a kid played with it. Well, a kid did play with it, together with her best friend. Building the tree house with Alec was like a dream not a memory. Every memory I had with him felt like it didn't happen. It was as if all the happiness I had in my life was completely stripped off from me, making me feel like they were just a dream.