Back To The Start (ON HOLD)

Chapter 36 - What Happens Now?

Chapter 36- What Happens Now?

        The stay in the hospital had only been for a day. My doctor only kept me in for observations. After one day I was good to go. I was only advised to attend a counselling twice a week and to visit my therapist at school every once in a while. I don't know why or how, but I felt slightly better. Like what happened was now in the past. Telling Alec felt like it was closure. But obviously, that was not the case for Alec.

        He had stayed with me at the hospital-- never leaving my side. And yet, he did nothing but remain silent. It was terrifying me, but every time I would ask him if he was all right, he would simply send me a smile and nod his head. I knew that he was far from all right, but I couldn't find the right words to say to him.

         "When are my parents coming here?" I asked Alec as we drove back to school.

         "Um, tomorrow. I'll go pick them up," he answered.

         I knew that. I just needed to talk to him whatever the topic may be. After the incident the school had finally called my parents since the recent events was alarming. I didn't want them to come but somewhere deep in me was okay with it. 

         The car ride consisted with nothing but small talks that were initiated by me, low playing of music, and nothing but pure silence. It was making me crazy.

         Not being able to take the silence anymore, I threw my hands up in frustration with a groan. The action made Alec glance at me by surprise. 

         "Fucking talk to me, Alec! You have not said a single word about what I told you," I hissed out.

        I didn't really intended for it to come out so hard but I was masked with so much frustration, anger and oblivion. It was mad.

        Instead of saying anything he remained silent. My heart's beating could be heard by my own ears. Blood was just rushing out. Beside me Alec remained nothing but passive and I let him. We stayed like that with him doing nothing and me trying to keep my cool until he had parked his car to his parking space.

        Just when I was about to burst out again, Alec looked at me with his eyes bloodshot.

       "What am I suppose to say? What to do you want me to say?" he asked with the words so evenly let out.

         "Anything. Tell me what's going in that head of yours."

        He closed his eyes and leaned his head against his headrest and let out a long sigh. After what seemed like forever he finally let it out.

       "There's this girl who meant the world to me. She always made me happy even when my world seemed like ending. She held me up even when I felt like falling. She never got tired of me even when I was tired of myself. She was my best friend. That one girl I will always love. She was mine."

       Words seemed like they were stuck in my throat. I wanted to touch him but he looked so vulnerable that I was too afraid to do so.

        "Her happiness meant everything to me. And I just found out the reason why she's now so broken. I want to turn back time, Tori. I want to go back to that night and just not let you go out of my house. Just asked you to stay and hug you all through the night. Keep you with me-- keep you safe. And the thought of what happened, hurts me so much. I just want to fix it. And the fact that I can't is making me insane."

        "We can't change it. But, Alec, I wanna try and not let him haunt me. I wanna try and move on. I want to try again with life. Help me with it."