Back To The Start (ON HOLD)

Chapter 32 - I Beat Jenna Hamilton

Chapter 32 - I Beat Jenna Hamilton

        As soon as what I said was finally comprehended by my brain, a loud clinking sound came. Sasha's fork dropped on the floor. With my eyes still closed, I slowly opened my eyes to take a peak at the boy who was in front of me. 

        Alec was looking at me with wide eyes. I wanted to take it back. Not because I didn't I love him, but because I was not ready yet. But certainly I couldn't just do that, it would hurt his feelings. I absolutely didn't want to hurt Alec. But saying those words was freaking me out. It was definitely not yet the time. Even I was caught off guard. 

         Clearing my throat, I stared at my custaroon and added, "...this custaroon. I love you... custaroon."

        Well that was a nice save. Oh, WHO WAS I KIDDING? That was awkward as hell. My sentence was poorly constructed and I wavered. I was awkward. I was definitely the most awkward person in the planet. I beat Jenna Hamilton and that girl has her own television show.

        "What the hell?" Sasha snapped at me with confusion in her eyes. 

        Why, thank you for pointing that out, Sasha. On the outside I was keeping my cool, but inside I was panicking, like white flag waving panic. 

        "Well that was the verdict. My custaroons is a work of art," Alec announced with a wide smile on his face.

         He bought it? Both Sasha and I stared at the boy in front of us as he took a bite from my custaroons. He closed his eyes, and for a moment nothing happened, but then he moaned as if the cupcake pleased him.

        "I should be a baker or something," he said, lightening the mood. 

        But it was obvious that what I said was definitely not forgotten. Alec far from stupid. He definitely caught that and didn't buy my excuse. He was just simply letting it slide. For me. 

        "Is my custaroon that good that you two aren't talking?"

        "It's to die for, Alec. I could marry you right now."

        I discreetly glared at Sasha for that. I get what she was doing. But what the hell, at least she had the guts to say it. 

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        After what happened in the kitchen I took a nice warm looong shower. I didn't know why I choked or why I didn't just stood up for what I said. Loving Alec was something I was sure with. I mean, I've been in love with the guy since I realized that there was a higher version of crush. Maybe because I wasn't ready for love. No, no one can ever be ready for love. I meant, I wasn't ready to accept it. I'm not yet ready to take the risk and go back at it again. I know I was giving us a chance again, but it scares me. The whole idea of sticking with him through thick and thin was scary. What if, he leaves me again?

        And there it was. I was afraid to be left by the man I love again. He did it once, that means he could do it again. 

       No. I shouldn't be thinking like this. I should trust Alec that he wouldn't leave me. He was just afraid. But what if he gets scared again?

       "Stop it, Tori!" I snapped at myself. 

       A knock came from the door. 

       "Tori? Are you all right in there?" Alec's voice came from outside the door. 

       I turned off the shower and noticed that my fingers were starting to look like prunes. Just as soon as the water stopped, I felt the cold air and I started to shiver. Stepping out from the shower and wrapping myself in my towel, I stared at myself at the mirror and noticed that my lips were turning blue.