Mr. Misty-Eyed | Josh Dun

reality | two

"And I will hide behind my pride,
Don't know why I think I can lie,
cause there is a screen on my chest."

. . . . .

Today was just the start of my week without Tyler. I sat perched up on the counter in the kitchen as I ate a bowl of cereal. Tyler was the one who normally made time to cook and now that I was left to fend for myself, I wasn't sure how long I'd last before I starved. Cap'n Crunch was not the most nutritious meal.

I kicked my heels back against the lower cabinets to create some type of sound to fill the silence of the empty house. I just had to remember that there were new songs to work on. That would be the only thing to get me through the day. If I could make it through day one I knew I would be okay for the rest of my time alone.

I slid off the counter, dumping my bowl in the sink as my eyes turned up toward the clock above the doorway. 7:23am. It was still early. Honestly, I should be used to waking up at this time and yet everyday it just reminded me how abnormal my sleeping habits were. Twenty-eight years old and I still couldn't fall asleep without the lights on.

The volume on the television was all the way up as I rewatched the movie Tyler and I had rented a couple weeks ago. It was way overdue, but I had no intentions of going to the video store, at least not today. My mind went over the dream from the night before, which reminded me once again of my childhood.

My parents had taken me to the nature park. A place only a few miles outside of town where people could run or hike the man-made trails that had been put in the woods. All of which surrounded a giant lake. I remember my father had warned me not to go out onto the ice, but I was a defiant child and did just that.

In an instant I had been swept underwater and away from the hole in the ice I had just created with my small body. I could still remember the muffled screams of my mother as I clawed at the ice. I never knew how I ended up back on dry land, after that day we never talked about it again. Up until that moment I had never understood what fear really was. That day it had crept up so suddenly and has yet to disappear.

I shuddered at the thought, trying to concentrate on the television screen a few feet away. This was the only other way I knew how to distract myself. The guy who managed the local video store and I were on a first name basis, which was kind of sad, but the truth nonetheless.

The movie had ended hours ago and yet I still laid out on the couch. The static noise that came from the television made it possible for my mind to go blank. No dark shadows lurking. No hand to grab me from behind. It was just silent. If that was what it was going to be like living on my own, I never wanted it to happen.

It was around 2pm when I finally found myself setting up the tape recorder in the garage. My drum kit stood ready a few feet away, just begging to be played. I sat on the edge of the carpet we had laid down to cover the cement floor in front of the recorder and hit the playback button.

"The title for this is still in the works..." Tyler's muffled voice filled the room as I listened to what he had already come up with. "But here we go."

"I can't take them on my own, my own,
Oh, I'm not the one you know, you know,
I have killed a man and all I know,
Is I'm on the run and go..."

My eyes shut as I listened through the entire tape, before I rewound it and played it over again. Half way through the fourth listen I stopped the tape and got to my feet, heading over to my kit. With drumsticks in hand, I let out a long breath. I held the sticks out in front of me, twisting them in a way that would stretch and relax my wrist and arms. I started in with a little bass drum before beginning what I already knew was going to be one of my new favorite songs. 

. . . . .

The cold October air washed underneath the garage door that I had propped open and yet sweat still laced my forehead and stained the back of my grey t-shirt. I pounded on the snare drum, every so often hitting a cymbal to break up the beat. It normally took a day or two of me playing around with a tune before I thought I had something solid, but this had just flowed together so well.

I didn't stop playing though. It only made me practice it over and over again. If I finished this song than there was nothing left to occupy the rest of my day. So I continued to play my drums, releasing the anxieties I was starting to feel.

There was a faint ghost of a voice that traveled through the cool air, but I paid it no mind as I shut my eyes, bringing my arms above my head and then back down onto the drum heads.

"I said, hey!!"

My head whipped in the direction of the voice I swore before had just been in my head to see a girl standing by the now fully open garage door, a slight hissing sound still radiating from the cymbals at they wobbled up and down. I sat up straighter in my seat, noticing the rigidness of her body language. I said nothing as I stared at the stranger across the room.

"Could you shut up?" She spoke as if it were a question to be answered, though by her harsh tone it was obviously rhetorical. "I can literally hear you from all the way down the block."

I wasn't much of a people person and to be completely honest, talking to someone I didn't already know was a big fear of mine. Just another one to add to my already long list.

She looked back at me expectantly, but I still didn't say a word. I took in her wavy brown hair pulled back with an elastic and the pinkest of her pale cheeks. She wore running sneakers and leggings, while a pair earbuds hung around her neck. I then realized that she must had been out running and that was how she had heard me. After living here for a few years I had never had any neighbors complain about the noise and yet here was a girl I had never seen before doing just that.

"Sorry," I mumbled finally.

"Oh, he speaks!" She cracked a wicked smile before she turned on her heels and headed back down the driveway.

I stood from my stool and followed after her or at least until I hit the doorway of the garage before I stopped dead in my tracks. I watched as she jogged across the street and up the steps of the house I knew wasn't hers. And with that she disappeared inside.

I crossed my arms over my chest, squinting my eyes in deep thought. I had never met anyone so blatantly rude.

.