reality | thirty

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"You'll have to watch me struggle,
From several rooms away,
But tonight I'll you to stay."

. . . . .



A low grunt escaped my lips as I tried to balance the large cardboard box I held in my arms while also trying to reach for an extension cord high up on one of the shelves in Tyler's parent's garage. I strained my arm as I stood a bit taller on my toes and finally pulled the cord down from its perch. As my fingers curled around the cord I lost my grip on the box and watched as it fell to the ground with a loud thud.

"Having some trouble there?" Tyler laughed as he walked back into the garage.

"No." I huffed shortly as I bent down to place the cord into the box before I picked it up again.

I could hear Tyler chuckling at my clumsiness as I made my way out of the garage and to my car. Inside the back seat and the trunk were many more boxes filled with cords and machines all used for the recording process.

When Tyler had told me that he had been keeping all this stuff just in case, I felt awful. For so long music had been my only outlet for relieving my anxieties. I had never thought about what Tyler might have wanted to do with the songs we had created.

But now we were finally on the same page. I had been trying to come to grips with the fact that my nightmares were just apart of who I was. Even though I couldn't stop them from happening, I had to make sure they didn't disrupt what Tyler and I had planned for our future. I wanted this music thing to work. I needed it to work.

"I think this is the last of it!" Tyler cheered as he came back out of the garage with two smaller boxes stacked on top of each other in his hands.

I quickly reached for the box on top and found a space for it in the backseat. I shut the door and followed after Tyler as he made his way around the back of the car.

"My mom is going to be so pleased to have this crap out of her house." Tyler laughed to himself as he shifted a few things around before he placed the last box into the trunk and shut it.

I bit at my lip subconsciously as I listened to him speak. If I hadn't have been such a coward this past year maybe we would have already had something recorded, but there was no dwelling on that now. I just had to keep looking forward.



. . . . .



"Hi," I spoke softly into the receiver of my phone as I leaned my arms against the top of Tyler's piano.

"Hi back," Bryce replied, though she sounded a bit distracted.

My eyes trailed after Tyler as he crouched down to plug a few cords into a power strip before he stood up and pulled the mixing board from one of the many unpacked boxes. I shifted slightly and cleared my throat, Tyler glancing my way for a brief moment.

"Do you remember when we talked about me applying for teaching jobs?" Bryce spoke up after a long pause.

"Yeah." A small smile formed on my lips as I listened to her voice.

"Well I applied for a few."

"That's great!" I sprung up from my slouched position as she spoke.

I could feel my heart as it picked up speed. The way we had talked about her sticking around the area before had sound like just a thought, but now it was real. Bryce wanted stay here in the city with her family and hopefully with me.

"Well I'm freaking out about the interviews so sorry if I seem a bit off." She sounded stressed and I wanted nothing more than to go over to hers and help keep her calm, but she had made it very clear about what she wanted my priorities to be right now.

The same day that Tyler had told me about the recording equipment was the same day I had told Bryce about the idea. She was beyond excited about it and praised me for finally finding the courage to step out of my shell and do what I loved.

That was almost a week ago. Since then Tyler and I had done nothing but plan for what our up coming weeks would look like. Tyler had even gone as far as to take time off from his job so we could really submerge ourselves in the recording process.

"Where's the- aha! Never mind." Tyler waved me off with a flick of his wrist as he found whatever he had been looking for.

I couldn't seem to wipe the smile off my face as I listened to Bryce explain her interview stuff and watched Tyler set up the control station. Everything was coming together and it felt good for once to finally feel like I had found my place.

"I'm going to stop boring you now and let you get back to work." Bryce's voice pulled me from my thoughts.

"But I like listening to you talk about boring stuff." I mused as I switched the phone to my other ear.

"Shut up and go do your thing." I could tell she had rolled her eyes just by the way she had spoken. "I'll talk to you later."

I made a reluctant noise, fidgeting slightly with the hem of my shirt before I replied. "But when will I see you?"

"Later." Bryce sighed dramatically into the phone.

"Later, when?" I honestly didn't care that I sounded clingy; I liked being with her so I wanted to show it.

"Josh..." My heart leapt into my throat at the sweet sounding tone her voice had changed into. "I'll try to come by later tonight, okay? But I want you thinking about your music, no distractions."

"That might be a bit difficult since-" I spoke as the only thing on my mind now was thought of seeing her.

"I'm hanging up now!" Bryce talked over me, the line going silent of a moment and I wondered if she had actually hung up on me.

"Bye, Josh."

I bit back a smile and averted my eyes to the ground nervously even though she wasn't even in the room. "See you later, Bryce."

With that the call ended and I placed my phone back into my jeans pocket. My gaze rose to look over at Tyler who was shaking his head at me.

"What?" I shrugged.

He shot me a knowing look and laughed before he went back to what he was doing. "It's almost disgusting how lovesick you are."

"I am not!" My cheeks flushed as I turned away from my best friend and started rooting through one of the unopened boxes.

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that," Tyler spoke from behind me.

"Let's not talk about this anymore." I pulled a few things from the box before moving over to where Tyler stood.

I watched as he opened a few applications on the desktop computer to check and see if everything was running properly. My eyes shifted over all the equipment we had, a confident smile forming on my face.

Bryce had said no distractions, but now with Tyler's off-handed comment running through my brain, it was the only thing I could think about even when I tried my best to work on the task at hand.

I was not in love. Just completely infatuated.







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