reality | twenty-nine

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"The horrors of the night melt away,
Under the warm glow of survival of the day."

. . . . .



The bright sunlight that streamed in through the window cascaded an extra blanket of warmth onto my bed. The not so early morning air was still cold and the house seemed uninhabited as I turned over in my bed. My fingers wrapped around my phone as I picked it up from the bedside table to check the time. 9:32am. My eyebrows knitted together as I did a slight double take. I hadn't slept in that late in weeks. And yet I was still tired.

I felt dazed and lightheaded as I placed my phone back where it was and made myself comfortable again. My mind instantly began to drift in and out of consciousness as I let the sun's rays lull my body back to sleep. A tiny smile formed on my lips, the only thought that crossed my mind was from last night's events as I fell back into a relaxed dream state.



. . . . .



My entire body shook as I stepped out onto the tiny wooden palette stage Tyler and I had managed to put together. The lights were dim all around the bar and flashes from camera phones blind my eyes as I looked over the crowded room and it was then that I froze.

My mind raced as I choked back the need to throw up and took my place behind my kit. I had no time to think and I slammed my sticks down against the drums. The noise ricocheted off the walls, bouncing back and hitting me with such a force I had to lean back to brace myself.

I tried to calm my rapped breaths as I frantically looked toward Tyler to see him with a grin on his face. It was then that I finally took a second to look out over the people who came to see us. A rush of adrenaline hit me and I felt dizzy as I tried to keep myself from losing grip on the sticks I held a little too tightly in my hands. I was doing it.

A lopsided smile formed on my lips as I turned my gaze down toward my drums just as quickly as I looked up. I just had to imagine it was Tyler and I practicing alone in our garage and everything would be okay. I could do it...



Sweat formed on my forehead, but I quickly wiped it away with the back of my arm, continuing to keep time with the song. My heart pounded in my chest and I kept my eyes on my drums as we made it through the last few moments, the sound fizzling out into nothing. I held my eyes shut for a long moment before I heard the sounds of cheers and hollers rip through the bar.

The crowd had been exponentially bigger than I had thought it would be. And I cursed those fliers for actually doing their job. But the yells and screams for more put a grin on my face. My head was spinning, but unlike last time it was in a way that I could still see everything clearly. I had done it. I had played an entire set in front of a crowd of people and they actually liked us.

My feet carried me quickly from the stage, subconsciously trying to remove myself from being the center of attention. People of all ages continued to congratulate me and my best friend on a job well done as we made our way through the crowd. And even though I had said thank you to each and every one of them, I wasn't really listening. I kept my eyes solely on the girl who still stood by the bar, her gaze trained on me as well. I felt light, my already flashed cheeks getting redder as I weaved my way through all the people who still surrounded the small stage.

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