Reversal (Camren/Norminah)

Chapter 6: Attached

VI. 

On his last word, the boy turned around again and stormed away, disappearing around the corner of the building and out of sight.

This time, I was very much not willing to let the conversation end on an even more sour note than it had the previous day. "Shawn!" I shouted, rushing forward and grabbing hold of his jacket. "Stop fucking walking away from me! We're going to work this out now!"

Shawn turned around slowly, looking at me with a pair of red rimmed, tired eyes. I surrendered to his weary look, stepping forward and flattening myself against his chest. "I didn't mean to yell." I said softly, my shoulders relaxing when his arms wrapped around me. "I just don't understand. I've told you hundreds of times before that I was going to be at school, then just ditched. Yesterday wasn't the first time it happened, so why did you get so mad?"

Shawn let go of me and backed up so he was leaning on the brick wall. "It wasn't the fact that you ditched the day that upset me." He admitted, sliding down so he was sitting at the ground area by my feet. "I mean of course I was disappointed. I always am... but it wasn't that."

I followed him, planting myself on the pavement just at his side. "Then what was it? Was it Lauren?"

"Not really." He mumbled back. "Maybe... kinda."

"You don't like her... do you."

"That's not it. No, I barely know her and I'm not one to judge." Shawn gazed over at me, his head moving down so it was supported by his hands. "There's just something I don't understand."

"What is it?"

He looked down, clearly unable to look at me anymore. I couldn't help but admit that it hurt.

"Camila... right when your family announced that they were going to leave, I offered to move in with you to help you get through all this. To help you sort out everything now that you were totally on your own." He spoke, his voice wavering. "I made that offer to you because I wanted to help... just as a good friend."

He looked up, and the next words broke my heart.

"And you turned me down."

***

I leaned my head back and groaned softly, hating myself for completely overlooking this. It was just another instance where if I had been paying attention, the whole situation could have been avoided. I took a deep breath, ready to talk.

"You don't have to explain." Shawn stopped me quickly. "It's over now, it doesn't matter."

"It does." I shifted my body so I was facing him. "And I get what happened now. When I told you that Lauren was living with you, you felt like I chose her over you. After everything you've done for me."

Shawn ran his fingers through his hair idly. It seemed like he didn't want to directly admit that I was right, but I knew that was the case.

"Look." He started. "I totally get that she's only been with you for two days now, but within that two days... things have just felt off. I'm used to having you around always, and when that changed everything went out of balance. It felt wrong."

As he spoke, the boy shuffled a little closer, letting me lean against his shoulder.

"Oh, and I'm sorry." He added. "About everything that I said to you yesterday, as well as just now. I didn't mean any of it, none of that about you being a mess and not trying was true. I was being ridiculous."

"No." I lifted my head to look up. "It was. You were right, I haven't been trying. I've been more interested in backing down and giving in than standing up and fighting for improvement. That's my own fault."