Chapter 13: Alone

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XIII.

Trigger Warning: Mention of suicide. Please proceed with caution.

"We didn't even make it to the bedroom that night, and instead subjected my baby hamster to a show that he was far too young to witness."

I closed the passenger's seat door, counting the number of clicks my heel made against the warm sidewalk before stepping inside. The restaurant was loud, covered in middle aged men cheering for their respective football teams and ordering one drink after another from the weary waitress. Stepping past the chaos, I pointed to the reservation and followed the hostess inside, taking a deep breath when I saw Shawn.

Sitting with a leather jacket overtop a navy v-neck, he was fumbling with his phone. The boy looked equally as nervous as I did - if not more.

"Enjoy." The hostess smiled at me. After granting her my thanks, I sat down opposite the boy and crossed one leg over the other, silently sliding Lauren's jacket off my shoulders.

"Hey." He said, looking up slowly. "So it's been a while."

"Yeah." I breathed. "It's been weird."

Shawn looked down, his awkward side shining through. "Um... so I ordered you that seafood pasta you like. And some of that really good garlic bread to go with it."

"Thanks." I gave him a small smile. "How have you been?"

"Good." Shawn nodded slowly. "You?"

"I've been better."

"I figured."

I sighed, leaning back and praying that the entire night wasn't going to be this way. "Shawn-"

"No." Shawn looked up again, a hint of urgency in his eyes. "I need to apologize to you."

"What?"

"I didn't need to say all that stuff the other night. I was out of line... if you think you need to run your life a certain way, then I have no right to argue with you. It's your decision. I'm sorry Camila."

I rested my elbows on the table, looking down at the container of napkins that sat in the centre. "It's okay." I shook my head. "I felt really crappy that night. I was irritable, and I probably wasn't being fair to you by just leaving like that."

There was a moment of thick silence.

"Have you noticed..." I began, hoping I could make this work without sounding like a douchebag.

"That we've been apologizing to each other a lot recently?" Shawn finished my thought for me, and did it perfectly.

"Yeah." I nodded, unable to feign the disappointment in my voice. "It's not far from turning into a problem."

"I'd say it already is a problem." He responded, sitting back against his seat when a waitress appeared with a basket of garlic bread and some accompanying dish of marinara sauce. We both thanked her, and I didn't wait for him to start before doing so myself. "We can make sure it doesn't get any worse." The boy then proposed, watching me eat with a thin layer of amusement in his eyes. "I think we can make that work."

"I think so too." I smiled across the table. "And by the way, if you tell me that you're going to take me to the new Star Wars movie after this, then I'm going to cry."

Shawn's face fell. "You don't wanna see it?"

I chewed slowly, shaking my head while doing so.

"Alright, fine.." Shawn grabbed his phone and began to scroll. "How about we go down to the pier? We haven't done that in a while."

"Sure." I affirmed, grabbing my spoon and covering my next slice of garlic bread in a hearty layer of sauce. "I'd like that. You have to win me a teddy bear though. And it has to be of those huge ones that you can hug whenever you're sad."

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