Chapter 43: Things Aren't the Same Anymore

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|| First Person || Bomb Sunshine ||

Realization claims the features of my sister's face. I suddenly reel in that Patrick and I are the center of attention. I feel awkward being in the attention of the entire group, their eyes burning holes into me. My hand becomes more protective of the unborn baby, somehow.

"I can't believe it," Rev chuckles incredulously. "You snuck around and decided now would be a good time to have a baby?!"
"Nova, please—"
"We are getting our asses chased by the government! Now is the completely wrong time to start a damn family! You, of all people, should know this, Bomb!"
"This wasn't planned," Patrick says, his voice being a lot firmer than we are all used to. All the attention is focused on him now. Patrick hesitates for a moment, his cheeks gaining a hint of color. "It just... happened."
"It doesn't "just happen," Patrick," Pete seethes abruptly. I look over at him, finding the black haired bassist standing from the floor. His face bears the scowl that I've grown to fear as he approaches Patrick.

"Obviously, you two have been at each other way too much," he says. "This was no accident."
"This wasn't planned," Patrick repeats, his blue eyes narrowing at his best friend. "We didn't plan to have a baby."
"I see who the stupid one is in this decision," Pete huffs before brushing against Patrick as he exits the studio. Patrick has a protective grip on my shoulder. His tense, warm hand gives me a sense of fear.

"We can't even feed ourselves." Kobra is the one to make this outburst. "What makes you think we can feed a baby while we're stealing what we can get?"
"You can't keep the baby," Andy says. His voice is more of worry than distaste like the rest of the group. "You're not keeping the baby, are you?"

I instantly want to reevaluate my decision. I look down at my belly, as if the unborn child could tell me what to do. I look up at Patrick, finding his eyes on me.

"Do you still want to?" he whispers to me. Tears burn my eyes but I manage to blink them back. I bury myself in Patrick's side, too scared to answer the question Andy had proposed.

"I don't want to kill it," I mumble into Patrick's shirt. "I can't kill it."
"Yes," Patrick answers Andy. "We're keeping it."

The Killjoys and Defender express their disagreement in our decision. I almost want to regret it, knowing that no one is ready for an infant. The questions start to surface again and it's all too overwhelming with everyone yelling and the inquiries swimming. I hide myself deeper into Patrick's side and give in to crying silently. His hand runs through my hair as he presses his lips against my forehead. I look up at Patrick and he gives me a weak smile.

"We're going to do this together," he reminds me. "I'll take care of both of you."

Something about Patrick's words make me believe in a better future. A small fraction of me doesn't want to believe him because of all the Hell I have seen over the course of eight years. I barely take in the fact that Patrick is cupping my cheek, his calloused thumb swiping tears away from my tan face.

"Better Living took down orphanages," Ghoul exasperates. "Your best bet is ending the pregnancy here."
"What do you mean?" Patrick asks, his voice now being consumed with worry. The blonde boy furrows his brow, wanting to understand what Frank had just said. The gang exchanges knowing looks. Andy blows a sad sigh and hangs his head before he starts to pick at the dirt on his fingers.

"You might have to turn to abortion," Party says from beside us. I snap my head to the right to look at the redhead. I can see the regret in his features at his suggestion. I can only imagine more blood on my conscience. The mention of killing this innocent being sends shivers down my spine. My stomach also tenses at the idea, churning in a nauseating way.

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