The Butterflies Will Live Forever (Adopted by 5SOS)

Chapter 8

-Jasmines POV-

"What do you want for dinner?"  Ashton asked.

I basically gagged at the word 'dinner'. "I'm not hungry." I lied.

"You haven't eaten since you've been with us." Luke said with concern.

"I ate a lot before I came." I lied again. Truth is, I have only eaten an apple in the past 4 days.

"Will you at least eat a slice of pizza?" Michael begged.

I think they are on to me. It's just one slice of pizza, right? "Yeah, I guess." I said with a fake, small smile.

Michael smiled, as if to silently say 'thank you', so I gave a small smile back, and Michael ordered a few pizzas.

When he walked back in the guys did that thing where they have a silent conversation with their eyes.

"Jasmine, we have a present for you." Ashton said after a moment.

"Okay?" I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

He walked into his bunk and came back holding a small gift bag. He handed it to me and smiled.

I opened it to see an iPhone 5c. "Guys!!! You really didn't have to!" I told them.

"We wanted to." Michael reassured me.

"All of our numbers are already saved in it." Ashton told me.

"Thank you guys so much!" I gave them each a hug.

•••

When the pizza got here, Michael gave me a piece on a paper plate. I stared at it intently, until I felt eyes burning into the side of my face. I focused my attention back on the telly, hoping no one would notice I wasn't eating.

"Are you okay, Jasmine? You haven't touched your food..." Ashton said.

"Yeah." I said with a smile. I took a bit of my pizza, hoping he would drop it and luckily, he did.

I ate about half of my pizza, before I decided I should stop before I get any fatter. I set my plate on the table and leaned back on the couch.

"Are you full already? You barely ate half of your pizza." Michael asked with concern.

"Yeah. I ate a lot this morning." I told him again.

He just eyed me and went back to watching the movie they had put on with a sigh.

***TRIGGER WARNING***

He was on to me. I looked back at the pizza, realizing how much of it I ate. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom." I told them.

I stopped by my room to get my old friend out of my suitcase and then went to the bathroom. I made sure to lock the door. I put my hair in a pony tail and opened the toilet seat. I shoved my longest fingers down my throat and puked all of the pizza into the toilet. I flushed it and moved on.

I'm so stupid. I ate half a piece of pizza. I'm gonna get so fat. I will never reach my weight goal. When will I ever be 100 pounds? I'm really worthless, aren't i? I pulled off all of my bracelets and pulled my old friend out of my pocket. I took a deep breath and put the blade to my wrist.

I made multiple cuts on both arms, before there was a knock at the door.

"Jasmine? You've been in there for a while. Is everything alright?" Michael asked.

"Yeah, I'll be out in a minute." I say, trying to hide the pain.

I wash the blood off of my arms and untie the jacket from around my waist. If the bracelets were to slip, it would be extremely noticeable and I don't have enough bracelets to cover it all up in the bathroom with me. I pulled on the jacket and pulled my hair out if it's pony tail.

I went to put my blade back in my suitcase, along with all of the bracelets. When I walked out, all of the boys were staring at me.

"Cold?" Luke asked.

I questioned why he would ask that for a moment, before I remembered I had put on a jacket since the last time they had seen me. "Yeah." I simply said and sat from in my seat.

-Ashton's POV-

Jasmine barely ate half of her pizza and set it down. Michael seemed to notice it to, because he questioned her. She told him she was full, but I don't think any of the guys fully believed it. Even she looked unsure about her own answer.

After a couple minutes she got up and went to the bathroom. All of the guys looked at each other. We all knew what we were thinking.

"Something's.... Off." Calum said.

"Yeah." Luke said.

"I don't like the way she barely ate." Michael said.

"She was wearing so many bracelets. Do you think....?" I trailed off. All of the guys knew what I meant. No one answered, which made my stomach turn.

After about 10 minutes, she still hadn't left the bathroom. "I'm gonna check on her." Michael said, as if he was reading my mind.

He came back a minute later and looked kind of pale. "What happened?" Luke asked.

"I don't know. She just said she would be out in a minute, but she sounded like she might have been in pain or something. I'm getting worried." He whispered the last part.

Jasmine walked out and was wearing a jacket. "Cold?" Luke asked.

She looked unsure, for a minute, about why he was asking, but a wave of realization washed across her face. "Yeah." She said and sat down.

•••

I had purposely made the bus a little warmer, to see if I could get Jasmine to take her jacket off.

"Jasmine, it's kinda warm in here. Aren't you getting hot?" I asked casually.

She nodded and walked out of the room. She came back without the jacket on, but she had bracelets on, and more than before. I felt my face go pale with worry, and the rest of the boys sent worried glanced toward each other. I think I know what she was doing in the bathroom for sure. Should I ask about the bracelets?