Fifty Shades of Maraj

Chapter 28

10 minutes to talk. But he chooses to look at me. A orange jumper and hair braided in a high ponytail was daily look. I hate it. This colour is horrible and doesn't suit me well, I miss having my hair pampered and styled the way I feel like it. Not by some stupid rules.

"Hey." He says.

"Hey Faree. How are you?"

"Coo'..." It's always the same answer. Always the same expression, which was none.

"Safaree, please say something."

"What you want me to say?"

"You're being short with me. I don't like that."

He takes a deep breath and shakes his head not knowing how to respond. "You're grown, you're the owner of your freedom. You did what you did so it is what it is."

"Is that how it is now?"

"What do you want from me, Nic? All the time you asked me not to say any and now you want me to pour all my thoughts to you?" I look at him emotionless. He sighs as he realising I wasn't going to say anything. "I don't say much to you anymore because I feel like you're being here is punishment enough."

Nodding, I rest my case. In a way, here's right. Can't argue with his logic that much.

"What did Ms. Kean say?"

Ms. Kean is my lawyer. She comes to visit me two days per week to discuss my situation in court.

"She said that it's going to be pretty hard to prove my innocence so might as well confess as guilty so the judges would consider reducing my sentence."

"That's fair." He licks his lips.

"This is not some movie where they gonna pity me and let me off the hook." I say rolling my eyes.

"Do you have a better idea?"

"I guess not."

"Figured."

Crossing his arms, I do the same and we fall into an awkward silence.

"How's Lauren? I haven't talked with her in three weeks." I try another conversation.

"She's fine. She says she's not ready to face you after what happened that day." He shrugs. "Your present from her is with me, though."

And now I fell sad. I can believe she actually got me a Christmas gift but she can't come over to see me.

"Does Andrea know that I'm here?"

"Of course, everybody at the office knows you're here. "

I sigh in frustration. "Don't say it like I'm a criminal."

"I'm sorry. I know you aren't. But everything you have done to this point, this has to be the stupidest thing you ever did."

"Cut it out."

"I'm just saying you could have forgiven him a long time ago."

I snap my head towards his direction in pure confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"Nic, even though you killed him by accident, you raised that gun to him. Yet, you didn't do it when you had to free chance to. Shit, you could have ended him a long time ago..."

"You have two minutes." The guard informs.

"Can you do me one last favour?" I ask playing if my fingernails.

"Yeah, sure."

"Can you like, pack all my clothes, shoes, makeup and bags in suitcases and keep them until I get out?"

"Yo, why so much? I'm sure you're gonna have your share of money when you get out. You can buy everything new, have a fresh start with everything."

"I know but... I don't think I can let go of those." I shrug not really knowing my reasons.

"Hmmm, something tells me that you're not ready of let go of somebody."

"Huh?" Totally oblivious to his insinuation.

"Drake. You're not ready to let go of Drake."

"Haha, funny joke, tell me another one." I laugh at his nonsense for three seconds then fall back with a serious face.

"I'm serious. What would be a logical reason for you to keep everything you got since you've been with him?"

"Is there supposed to be a logical reason besides me loving my stuff?"

"I see...You forgave him."

"You must be crazy if y-"

"That's it! You forgave Drake, you loved him. You just didn't realise it and probably won't."

"That's crazy, I would never forgive Drake for dismantling my family. You're being delusional."

"But I'm not though. Think like this. Why did you marry him?"

"'Cause I was pregnant."

"Right right right right... And when you lost the baby? You could've done what you always wanted then break free from that act. Why did you stay?"

I was silent. His question actually got me. I didn't know the answer.

"Case closed. Because you loved him."

"It's called compassion."

"It's called love. Lowkey you started loving that nigga but that bullshit of revenge had already consumed you."

"Time's up."

Safaree gets up from the chair, not taking his eyes off of me. I would expect this time him leaving with some kind of negative emotion towards me but this time he's actually about to leave me with a smile on his face to remember him

In seconds I see him disappear from the door. I go from fussing to pensive mode.

What he says, gets to me. It makes sense but I don't want to believe him.

Now I'm starting to feel bad about this idea from the begging. But still, after everything that happened made me feel like shit for years. It was only natural if I sought some kind revenge. Guess it didn't turn out so well.