Adopted by 5SOS

Chapter 22. Counseling

This is who I picture as Drake :)

Shiloh's POV
"I think I can manage going downstairs to my session, on my own." I quietly spoke, watching Drake fix my bed for me. "Okay.. But that's not the rule. You must be accompanied, at all times." He replied, me groaning. I slugged toward the elevator, and waited for Drake. Once we were inside, we stood in silence, riding down to the second floor. He lead me to my usual door, and quickly hugged me before anyone saw. "Be strong in there. Remember, act like the drug is working." He whispered before walking up the staircase.

I silently walked into the room, and lied on the couch. "On your feet, Ms. Irwin." I turned my head to see Mrs. Peabody in the doorway. She wasn't my usual counselor, what was she doing here? "I'd like to weigh you again, before we start." She ordered, gesturing to walk over to the scale. I rolled my eyes and walked over, staring at her as I stepped on. "102. You've gained 5 pounds since the last session, you need to reach 115 by August." She told me, recording the number in the booklet. The still anorexic, me nearly gagged at the number that she recited.

This was Drake's fault. He made me eat, he forced me to eat. He said in order to escape in August, I'd have to have my energy.. And the only way I'd be getting that is by eating. "You can step off the scale, Ms. Irwin. Go lie down on the couch." She ordered as I turned on my heels and walked over to the couch. I laid down, and waited for the serum to be injected. Yea, I forgot to mention that they stopped using patches. They now inject us with needles to put us under, to put us in the simulations.

I closed my eyes as the needle went in and my mind slipped into oblivion.

My eyes opened and I instantly realized where I was. I was underwater, trapped. Something was holding me under, it was telling me to stay. I couldn't and wouldn't show fear. I will not act like I was currently drowning and fighting for my life. I blew out bubbles, trying to reach the surface. My hair floated around my face; straw-like and thin from not really washing it. I looked to my arms and saw I didn't have my scars, I smiled. I was showing happiness.

Fuck.

The scene switched again and I was now in a dark basement. Images from my kidnapping surfaced and I slowly swallowed down the fear again. The door opened and heavy boots echoed down the steps. "Shiloh." My fathers voice boomed, my eyes wide. "Y-you should be in jail! You shouldn't be here!" I screamed, tears in my eyes. I was letting it get to me. I couldn't find this feeling in the pit of my stomach, I watched in horror as he came closer, smirking. "You look beautiful." He whispered as I jerked away from him in anger. I shut my eyes in fear as he rubbed his hand up and down my arm.

A tear rolled down my cheek as the scene switched again. I was now, placed in a seat.. Dressed in all black. I looked around and realized I was in a funeral parlor. I looked to the casket and gasped in shock. "A-Amethyst..." I whispered, looking down at my older sister. She rested peacefully in the casket, her hair laid beautifully on her shoulders. I began weeping silently and fell to my knees. "Please... Please make it stop!" I shouted, wishing the nightmares would just end.

I shot up in my bed, the blanket on the floor, my gown soaked in sweat, and another vomit stain on the front. Drake walked in and stopped. "Shiloh... Again?" He said sadly as I shakily stood to my feet. "It was too much... I couldn't.. I couldn't help it. I saw my sister.." I whispered, looking at the floor. "Well, go shower and change. I'll change your sheets for you." He assured, pushing me out into the hallway. There was a boy at the other end of the hallway, walking as slow as a snail.

We briefly met eyes before scurrying away from each other in fright. Every little thing made me jump in my skin, and I was scared. I couldn't even look Drake in the face anymore. After I had showered and changed, I hobbled back to my room. "I brought you lunch." Drake commented, looking at me. "Okay." I replied, not looking back at him. "You know.. Maybe the surgery won't be as bad as you make it sound." I said, after taking a teeny tiny bite of the sandwich. "What?!" Drake exclaimed, I could feel how wide his eyes had become. He ran a hand through his light brown hair and stood against the one wall, with his arms crossed. He was dressed like all the other staff; a button down, slacks and a lab coat.

"Are you serious Shiloh?" He questioned, as I shrugged. "How long was I out for this time?" I asked, still avoiding his eyes. "All the sessions usually last around four hours.. You know that. But yours was particularly long." He answered as I groaned in frustration. "How. Long.?" I seethed, my grip hardening on the desk. "Your latest session lasted almost 7 hours.." He muttered as I finally turned to face him. "Shiloh... You look horrible!" He exclaimed, finally taking in my appearance.

I knew my eyes were sunken in and I was pale. The clothes were still very loose on my body, the little bit of weight gain not changing much. "I also gained five pounds." I spit, angered at myself. "That's great! You're already getting closer to becoming stronger!" Drake congratulated me as I swerved away from his pat. "You're starting to act like all the others.. Cowering in fear at every little thing. You have to be stronger while you're in here. You have to fight, fight them, fight this place... Fight yourself. You have to be the bigger person in this situation here." Drake told me, as I only listened with one ear.

"Do you want me to tell the boys that you changed your mind? That you want the procedure done, and to live with them and have no emotion for the rest of your life? Never see the fun in things ever again? Is that what you want?" Drake questioned, turning my chair so I was directly in his face. "Tell me, right now! Is. That. What. You want?" He asked again, his brown eyes staring into my dull ones.

"No! Of course I don't want that! But I'm not strong enough. I don't have the power within myself to hold on any tighter." I exclaimed, both of us breathing heavy from yelling. "Well, have something to hold on to." He spoke just as he came closer and his lips crashed on mine. I melted into the kiss, confused at first and then let all my feelings go. I kissed back until he pulled away. "Now do you have something to hold onto?" He asked again, a little sparkle twinkling in his eye.

"Yes, Drake. I have you.. I have you and the boys to hold onto." I answered, smiling back at him.