Nothing Lasts Forever

Chapter Sixteen

 My whole body was sore and throbbing with pain. Once I got my eyes open partially I shut them and groaned at that annoying beeping sound. I blinked my eyes a couple of times to get adjusted to the light. I struggled to sit up and moved the blanket off of myself in a panic remembering the last time I woke up in a place I didn't recognize.

"No no no," I looked up to see an older women come in the room who I assumed was a nurse, "Your not supposed to be moving sweet heart."

She walked over to the bed and made me lay back down and I looked at her in confusion trying to think about why I was in the hospital and when I got here. I had so many questions but I just didn't know where to start.

"I'm your nurse, Nurse Patricia but you can call me Nurse Pat, everyone else does. I'm going to run a few tests on you okay?"

I tried to talk but my mouth was dry and she noticed so she poured me a cup of water from the pitcher on the nightstand. She pressed a button on the bed and it titled up and then she helped me drink. Once I was done she sat the cup to the side and gave me a warm smile.

"Better?"

"Yes," my voice was raspy but that was the least of my worries, I sat still as she checked my vitals. My thoughts were a big jumbled mess as I wondered where everyone was and if they were okay.

"How long have I been here," I asked the nurse.

"A little over two days now," she answered making my eyes go wide. Looking at the clock on the wall I saw that it was after one in the morning. Me and Kaliyah never spent more than a few hours apart so I knew that she had to be worried and questioning where I was.

She finished taking my blood pressure and then jotted down something on the chart she pulled from the end of my bed and as if she read my mind she smiled at me.

"You have a beautiful daughter, she's the perfect mix of you and her father. They've been here to visit you every day."

I perked up at the mention of Kaliyah. I didn't want her to know that I was in the hospital because I didn't want to worry her but I guess it was to late.

"I should run and inform a doctor that your awake. Are you hungry, do you need anything?"

"Am I going to be okay," I asked her.

She looked sad and I knew I must of missed something. I started to think bad thoughts wondering what could be wrong with me.

"Do you remember anything before you passed out?"

I wished I didn't. I wished I could forget the past few days.

"I remember the pain in my stomach...I-," I paused pressing my hands lightly on my stomach. I didn't feel any bandages or anything wrong, "I remember the blood but..."

As I tried to put the pieces together she walked closer to me, "You lost a lot of blood. You were under extreme stress and that combined with the physical trauma caused you to miscarry."

I thought I heard her wrong and started to feel sick as I thought the worst, "Miscarry?"

"You were six weeks along. The doctors did everything they could. You lost a large amount of blood and you were in and out for the past two days. I'm sorry for your loss," she spoke apologetically.

When she told me how far along I felt relieved because I knew that it wasn't a result of rape but the relief only lasted for a second.

Me and August talked about having more children but we both agreed not until I was content and not until Kaliyah was at least four. Those plans went out the window after D died. Neither one of us were thinking about more kids after that and August wasn't thinking about me or the one child we already had.

I don't know how I felt or what to feel. When she started telling me about counseling I zoned out wanting nothing more than to be alone.

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