Nothing Lasts Forever

Chapter Eighteen

A U G U S T

I was feeling guilty for the shit that just went down. It was my fault no matter which way you looked at it. Jayceon was after me and to get to me he got to Kash. I haven't seen her since I walked out of the hospital room and that was a week ago.

She was staying with my mom while she recovered and my mom thought it was best that after everything she's been through that she shouldn't be alone right now. From what my mom was telling me she was holed up in the guest room.

"If I knew how bad you had fucked shit up then I would of came back into town sooner," Trey looked at me. He had flew in town yesterday after he heard about everything that went down. We were close but I wasn't honest with him about how bad shit had got after D died. I didn't want him involved but I had a feeling that this shit was far from over and once I told him all that went down he was on the next plane.

"I doubt that it would of made a difference. I wasn't listening to nobody, not Kash, not my mom, Mace."

"Speaking of Mace last time I talked to him he told me that you had a girl, a new girl."

I sucked my teeth, "It wasn't like that, she wasn't my girl she was just something to help pass the time. I haven't talked to that girl in months."

Last time I talked to her she told me to lose her number but it was funny how she was the one that was still blowing me up talking about she missed me and she was sorry.

"He also told me that Kashmere had a boyfriend."

I rolled my eyes at that, "That wasn't her boyfriend."

"Then what was he?"

"A lame. Some uppity rich nigga."

He must of found something funny by my comment because he cracked up, "So she pulled a Ciara and left yo ass?"

"She didn't leave me, we broke up."

"And who's stupid idea was that?"

I looked at him, "I thought it was for the best until I got my shit together but now I'm not so sure. I should of just kept my distance from her like I was supposed to. Maybe I should just stay away."

"Is that why you haven't gone to seen her since she got out of the hospital?"

I looked at him because I didn't even tell him that.

"I called your mom this morning. Look none of the shit that happened was your fault. He took the easy way out and I know your mad and beating yourself up but don't. You need to take some time, go spend some time with your family. I know you might think it's best to keep your distance from her right now but the least you could do is check in on her."

K A S H M E R E

Everyone decided that it was best that I wasn't left alone right now so I was staying with Ms. Sheila. She didn't ask questions or pressure me to talk and for that I was grateful. I appreciated her and everything she was doing but I just wanted to be left alone. I was humiliated, angry, confused, and ashamed. I couldn't help but think about what I could of done differently that day.

I had been out of the hospital for a week now and the first four days I couldn't bring myself to get out of bed. All I did was lay in bed and stare at the ceiling because every time I closed my eyes I had flashbacks of the days I was taken. I felt hopeless and helpless, like I was that same scared and traumatized girl I was all of those years ago when my dad was murdered right in front of me.