Notes // Mashton

Chapter Four

After I was preparing myself to have a rage at Calum, I suddenly looked through the responses to the tweets, a good six out of seven of the comments were hating on me for kissing 'their Ashton'. I was unsure on why they were, hating, we were joking around, right?

Next thing I knew, I found myself at Ashton instead, bursting into tears. Don't ask me why, out of all people I went to Ashton, because honestly, I don't know why.

When Ashton saw me run up to him, tears in my eyes, he looked worried. He brought me into a hug, before asking the question. "Why are you crying Mikey?" He looked into my eyes as he asked it.

"C-C-Cal-l-lum p-posted a p-pic-t-ture of us k-k-k-kissing f-from the d-dare and our f-fans were g-giving me ha-ate for su-some reason a-and su-saying I uh needed to quit the b-band." As I stuttered the words aloud, all I could think of how stupid I sounded. As Ashton understanded what I was saying, he tightened the hug.

"Mikey, don't worry about- Wait what? Calum posted us kissing on Twitter?" He said with worry clear in his voice. I was pretty certain he felt similar to how I did at that moment. I stuttered once again, attempting to make out the word 'yes'.

Ashton immediately broke the hug, I could see the tears dropping from his eyes. Our games of truth or dare weren't normally risky, but first it was Luke forcing Ashton to kiss me(which wasn't actually that bad) but Calum actually posting it on on Twitter where anyone could see!

I could swear that the two were up to something. The worst part out of all of this, was that the boys knew that I could break down over small things even as small as one of the boys not answering on the first call.

Feeling the ice cold tears rush down my face, I didn't bother to wipe my face at all. The only happiness there was out of this situation, was that there was two weeks that the only people I would have to see would be my family. But I wasn't even sure if that was a good thing. I couldn't run from my problems forever.

Were these even my problems though? Ashton was the one who possibly had feelings for me. Although I am almost certain that it would never happen. Has he seen me?

As I looked up, I remembered where I was. I glanced back up at the boy who was also in tears now, and pulled him into a hug. After we had stayed silent for about ten seconds, Ashton whispered in my ear "I can't believe he did that"

"Neither, but you only kissed me because of the dare right so we shouldn't be worrying that much?" This was followed by an awkward break of the hug, and the boy stepping away from me.

"Uh. I uh don't uh know h-how to s-say this b-but I didn't wait outside of uh the bathroom for you so I could uh kiss you just because of the d-dare"

Taking a huge step away from Ashton, I couldn't set my mind straight. The tears on my face had completely dried out, and I didn't know what to think. Out of all the words I could've said to the boy, I decided on one. "What?"

"Uh.. I said nothing?" He muttered back sounding angry, sprinting away from me. What was he trying to hide from me? He liked females, I was sure of it. He had been in many serious relationships. Even if he was gay, he wouldn't go for someone like me, he would go for someone into sports, right? Also, if he was homosexual why would I care, I'm straight and I have a girlfriend!

Sighing, I grabbed my jacket off one of the chairs, and headed back to the tourbus. The more I thought about the situation, the more confused I was with myself and I just gave up. I shoved the earphones in and let the worries fly away as I turned the volume up to the fullest.

~~

By the time I arrived in the tourbus, all the other boys were in a deep conversation, so I had ignored the three as I jumped onto my bed. I had to leave to go back to Sydney tomorrow, but I decided to worry about packing before I slept.

"Michael!" One of the boys yelled from the lounging area. I couldnt recognise which boy it was, and I decided to ignore it. They should've learnt that if I'm listening to music that I don't want to talk.

But as the calls of my name continued, I was guessing that the boys thought I hadn't heard them and I had had enough. "Just shut up! I can hear you perfectly well and if I wanted to talk to you I would" I screamed a tad louder than I should've. I shoved my hands into my hair and went back to the music. A song by Sleeping With Sirens was now on, although I could quite remember what it was called.

"Come here Michael! We have a surprise!" Ignored.

"Michael we're playing a game!" Ignored once again.

"We have pizza!" Ignored.

Eventually they gave up on convincing and came up with a new technique. Annoying the shit out of me until I either came down, or killed them. At this point I was sure it would be the second one.

First they banged on my bed from the bunk below, which was Calum's. I clenched my fists, and succeeded in not murdering the boys... So far. Next they screamed as high as they could, which almost deafened me, but still didn't get me out. What they did that made me punch Calum and also come out was by far the grossest out of all. They had a competition to see who could lick my face before I got out. They had ten seconds each, I assumed, and it didn't take long until I was up.

Calum was first, and as soon as his tongue touched my face, I was grossed out and annoyed, so I punched him right in the nose. Whoops.

Once I was on the ground, the boys started wolf-whistling and cheering. What was wrong with these boys? I walked into the lounge and sat on the floor away from the others. The boys gave my strange looks as I placed the earphones back in my ears and sighed. "Someones on their man period." I faintly heard Calum whisper in Ashton's ear, but it mustn't of been that quiet if I heard it.

This was followed by more mutters about my mood, most I couldn't make out what they had said, but I could tell they were about me. By this point, I was full on mad and was ready to get away from thd boys. I don't even know why they dragged me out in the first place. Standing up, I felt dizzy for a slight moment but managed not to fall. "Well I uh don't think I'm uh needed here. I need to uh go pack." I tried to say it confidentally, but it didn't turn out exactly as planned.

As I started to storm into the area where my clothes were, I was stopped by Ashton. He didn't speak at all, just gave me a hug and walked back to the group. What the hell?

After I had gathered up all my clothing that was scattered around I stuffed it into my suitcase, not even bothering to fold any of it. I double checked I didn't forget anything and climbed back into my bed.

~~

The next morning was horrific. The boys hadn't packed unlike I had and it was chaos. I had tried many times to fall back asleep, but everytime I had been close, another boy had screamed because their suitcase would close or similar. Eventually I just gave up.

Soon, the other boys had basically finished and went into McDonald's to fetch breakfast. I didn't go along with them as I had ate earlier. I jumped out of my bed and started to head to the lounge when I spotted something on top of Ashton's suitcase. A diary. Wondering what was inside, I started to open the book until my brain kicked in and I realised what I was doing.

But I didn't just completely walk away from the diary, I had a crazy idea. I have no idea why I actually did it, but I grabbed a sticky note and started to write words. 'Why.'