Notes // Mashton

Chapter Twenty-Four

*Michael POV*

As I woke up to the sun shining on my face, I groaned. The only thing on my mind was one thing, one boy, Ashton.

It was like he was over me, but I had to pretend that I was over him. But I knew that I would never be over him, I had fallen for him I couldn't let go. But it was like he just didn't need my support he just walked away, leaving me to crash on the ground.

"Wake up! We have recording!" I heard Calum yell as he opened the door. I rolled off my bed, crashing on the floor and started to get ready.

"Just us two today." Calum laughed as we exited the apartment, leaving the other two boys behind.

We took Ashton's car to the studio, we didn't really talk about anything on the way, just stayed silent. When we arrived at the destintation, it was seven, too early to be up.

"Hey Cal and-" He paused, "Michael." We were greeted by someone I had never met before, but knew our names well enough to give Calum a nickname. We followed him to one of the rooms and while someone was setting up the recording area, we sat on the couch trying to not talk to him.

"So how do you like living with Ash and Lukey?" He asked, giving the other two nicknames too. How did he even know that we lived with them?

"Uhm it's fine." Calum answered, obviously not wanting to talk either.

"How's Ashton?" He was giving me the creeps now.

"Excuse me?"

"Well you two are going out aren't you?"

"No we aren't, and where the fuck did you get this information?" Saying that I wasn't going out with Ashton made me sad, but I wasn't going to lie to this dick.

"Well Becca obviously." Now that I had looked closely at the man, he did resemble Becca, I guess they were siblings or something. Why did Becca have to be so close to everyone?

Ignoring the boy, the woman who was setting up the recording area had finished, and called me over to the room. She told me what part she wanted me to sing and since I didn't have much solos, it didn't take long, and after I just had to wait while Calum sung most of his solos, which was a lot.

But finally, they let us free from that boy's questioning, and we could go back home. We stayed silent again during the way back home, only the occasional humming to the songs.

When we reached the apartment, the other boys were awake, and blasting music that we could hear from outside. The song that was on when we came inside was one of my favourites, 'Time-Bomb' by All Time Low.

"Hey!" Luke screamed as we entered.

"We're like a time-bomb!" Ashton interrupted Calum as he was saying 'hey' back to Luke, he continued to scream out the song, jumping off the furniture as he sung. It was obvious that he was drunk, but why so early?

Memories of Ashton being intoxicated filled my mind, the first time we made out. Although he was drunk then, I always believed that there was a sliver of sober in him. But I believed a lot of things back then.

Without speaking to anyone, I headed off towards the hallway, and took the packet of sticky notes from my bedroom and entered Ashton's room. Not thinking, I scribbled on the note and stuck it on his diary that he had still failed to hide. The note read 'It seems you are over me, what a FUN game it was, I guess you have won.'

Assuming that he wouldn't be back anytime soon, I took the time to observe his room although I had been in it many times before. The usual posters he had had up since we moved in, the clothes all over the floor, the diary sat up on the bedside table that he hadn't even bothered to move.

Should I read his diary? Thoughts like this spread around my mind, but I managed to control myself, and went out of his bedroom leaving the note behind.

Instead of going to my room, I sat in the corner of the hallway, my eyes staring at the ground. I don't know why I did it, my instincts made me.

How did he get over me so quickly? He needed to teach me his ways. Maybe his ways of kissing too. By now, I had my mind thinking about making out with him, having sex with him, laying next to him with his arms around me.

"Fucking Hell!" I screamed, only realising it after, knocking over this plant I assumed Liz or someone put there. The pot smashed to pieces, and the dirt spread all over the carpet. Soon I had the three boys hovered over me, asking what had happened.

"Nothing, just fuck off." I pushed past Luke, slamming the door when I entered my bedroom. My hand was covered in blood from smashing the pot, but I didn't care. My mind was all over the place, but I knew one thing, I needed Ashton and I needed him now. Maybe not in a sexual way, but I just needed him in my arms, I needed to feel him, in any way.

The blood off my hand had dripped onto my jeans, staining them, but I didn't make a plan to cover the wound. Instead, I unlocked my phone and scrolled though the pictures I had of Ashton. In every single one, his dimples were showing off, and most of them were flawless selfies he took.

At that moment one thought ringed through my mind, why did I break up with him?

---

"What the hell Michael!" Ashton screamed at me as I stared at the ground. He slapped me around the face, leaving a mark where his hand had been. Yet I couldn't feel it at all.

"What did I do?" I whispered, scared of his response, but it seemed he couldn't hear me.

"Why would you this Michael? You are such an awful human being!" I was still unsure on what had happened, but 'awful human being' echoed through the walls for what seemed like forever, making me burst into tears.

"Why is he even in the band?" I heard Calum and Luke murmur to eachother from the other side of the room, making the tears continue.

"I don't know, he doesn't even do anything except ruin our friendships." Luke replied to Calum, in which he replied.

"I mean look at Ashton and us, he doesn't even talk to us he's too busy playing with Michael." I tried to scream at the two, telling them I didn't mean for this to happen, but I couldn't speak, so they just continued to gossip about how stupid I was.

"Silly boy!" Ashton screamed, echoing the halls once again.

"How could you not realise I was playing games? Why would I care for someone like you!" The tears continued to fall down my face, and he continued to tell me how useless I was.

"What the fuck is this Michael?"

"Michael?"

"Michael!" Suddenly my eyes opened, and I was still on my bed, the last place I was before I must have fell asleep. Calum was sitting next to me on my bed, trying to clean the blood unsuccessfully.

"Silly boy, breaking pots I see." Calum laughed, but the two words ringed through my mind from my nightmare. I was unsure on what was exactly happening in the dream, like where I was or if anyone else was there, but I knew what Ashton hated me in it, and maybe he did in real life too.

"Calum, can I ask you something?" I whispered as he washed away at my hand.

"Sure."

"Do you think Ashton hates me?"

-{ Do you guys like the new cover? I change it all the time so I'll probably change it again in a few days, but anyway. :) <- Creepy smiley face to say goodbye. }-