Notes // Mashton

Chapter Nineteen

As I stared at the text shown on the screen, I was speechless. Do I tell him? Do I lie? I sure as hell trusted Zayn, but I didn't know what to say.

I clenched the phone in my hand, making sure that I wouldn't have another rage and throw the phone at the wall and break it again. I had bought this phone a few days ago and I didn't have money to buy a new one if I broke this one.

Eventually, I put together some words and replied to the boy.

- You -

"I don't even know anymore."

Not surprisingly, he replied around a minute later.

- Zayn -

"Well you know if you ever need to vent out to me or ask me anything I'm here bro aha"

Did I really want to tell him all my problems over text though? Anyone could read it if they picked up my phone and they would find out things I didn't exactly want anyone to know. Except I trusted Zayn a lot, I know that he would never make my life torture. 

- You -

"I wanna tell ya, but I would rather talk in person. Where are ya right now??"

- Zayn -

"In the UK man."

Damn. I'd had to wait a few weeks before we were going to the UK, so that threw out that plan because anything could happen in three weeks and I needed someone to help me. Savannah and I hadn't really spoke in a while, and I didn't think she knew about my lying. I also needed some boys advice on the situation.

- You - 

"OK I'll just call ya and explain when the boys are out."

Zayn replied shortly after saying alright, and then we stopped texting. 

---

"Mikey, we are going to buy groceries, wanna come?" Ashton asked as him and the others headed towards the door. His mood had seemed to lifted up, and he was now happy. 

"Nah I'm not feeling well." I lied, just so I could explain to Zayn. The three left the room, and I fished my phone out of my pocket. Dialing his phone number, he didn't pick up the first time, so I called again and he answered then. 

"Hey Zayn here."

"Hey it's Michael. Do you want me to explain now?"

"Yeah just wait a minute." He seemed to be walking into another room, at least I knew he wasn't secretly on speakerphone, well at least I hoped.

And so I explained, I even told him about the notes. He didn't judge me at all, I knew I had chosen the right person. After I had told him, he said I should either tell him about the notes or stop writing them altogether. I hadn't wrote one in a while, but yet I don't think I could stop. 

"He will forgive you eventually, if you are really meant to be." He sounded like he was whispering, trying not to let anyone else hear.

What if he didn't forgive me, what if we weren't meant to be? Did I really want to take that chance so early in our "relationship"?

"I don't think I can tell him." He understood, and after a while we had stopped talking. He got back to whatever he was doing, and the boys arrived back home.

"We're home!" Calum yelled, the highest pitch he could go. They carried bags of what looked like Nutella, Vegemite and M'n'm's. This is why we needed someone mature to buy us groceries, I hadn't had healthy food in ages, not that I was complaining.

As the three unpacked their food, I scrolled down Twitter, to see new girlfriend rumours about myself. Well I had the opposite of a girlfriend, so they were wrong. How did people even know I broke up with Becca? 

Tapping on Becca's username, it revealed it all.

@BeccaWasHereXo 'Me and Michael are over, get over it.'

@BeccaWasHereXo 'Cheating Dick.'

@BeccaWasHereXo '@Michael5SOS tell your fans who you really are.'

@BeccaWasHereXo 'Thanks Michael for ruining my night.'

Well technically, all those Tweets were all true. I did cheat on her with Ashton, the 5SOS fam didn't know and I'm not with her anyway. But she didn't even know my side of the story.

As I looked closer at the Tweets on my feed, the majority of them were saying how I was awful for cheating on Becca. If only I could tell them all everything, but it's too long to put in a Tweet. 

Instead, I tapped on the new Tweet button and typed something that didn't completely talk about Becca, but it did enough that people would figure out. It wasn't too long, yet too short, just long enough for me. 'Don't judge until you know both sides of the story.' I hit the tweet button.

I am awful. I am awful. I am awful. Why couldn't I just break up with Becca before telling Savannah I did. Too much lying, too little time. 

---

Later on that afternoon, Luke prepared some dinner. It was nothing complicated, all of us were hopeless at cooking. We grabbed our bowls and sat by the couch to eat the food. "So uh, how has everyone been?" Calum spoke while eating.

"We basically live together, you know how we have been." Ashton answered, glaring at the boy. It had seemed something had happen at the supermarket by the way the three looked at each other, and I wanted to know.

After that, everyone stayed silent, and my mind was full of thought. I was now desperate to know what had happened while they were gone, but I didn't know how to ask. They would think I was nosy if I asked, and I didn't exactly want that reputation.

"Nice tweeting you got there." Luke mumbled after we had finished the food, referring to me I was guessing.

"Uh yeah I know." 

"So what did happen with you and Becca? Did you cheat on her?" Luke asked, but not in a desperate way, just a curious way.

"Hell no. She's making up lies." I lied, kind of hypocritical. 

"Oh ok." 

For the remainder of the night, the four of us watched the first three Saw movies, which made us screaming like little girls the majority of the time.

"That was fucking ew." Ashton stated after the third movie had finished. We all agreed and decided that it was time to go to sleep. It was now two am, and we were almost asleep anyway. The two other boys headed off first, leaving Ashton and I alone on the couch. He stared at me, not like he was trying to make me leave, but like in a love way, like the way I stared at him.

"Uh, hi." He mumbled, his hand in his hair. Fucking sexy. He looked as though he wanted to kiss me, but he was too shy.

"You know we are dating, you can kiss me." And after that, our two lips pressed together, oh how long I have had to wait for something like this. Now we were dating, there was nothing stopping us.

-{ I wrote this on my computer so yeah, that's why its long and probably boring aha. }-