I remember your blue eyes; the way they shimmered in the moonlight on the night you asked me to go stargazing with you. I had lied down a thick, ratty, old blanket on the cool grass just outside your house in the front yard. It wasn't anything special but you thought it was perfect. We lied down and and you put your arms behind you head, a content smile resting on your face as you looked into the deep velvety night sky.
I know I shouldn't have, I had Bryce, but I couldn't resist. I just watched you as you happily stared into the looming galaxy and then I leaned over, resting my head against your chest. "Ohm-" you said but I hushed you, glancing up at the moon.
I wanted to stay like this forever, you and I lying beneath the stars. I knew that it'd be impossible. Bryce and Even wouldn't be happy. I just couldn't help myself. I've always liked you, no, loved you and no matter how much I tried to push you from my mind, I just couldn't.
I feel like shit. I knew I couldn't just do this to Bryce. He's always been good to me, took me out, bought me things and shared his entire life with me. I couldn't do this to Evan. He's my friend and it wouldn't be cool for me to take you from him. I couldn't do this to you. I don't deserve you, you deserve better than me. You deserve the world and more and I couldn't give that to you, even if I wanted to.
Despite that, I will never stop loving you, Jonathan. Never.
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This is getting turned into a full fanfiction and if you want to check it out here's the link
