Chapter 77
My feet was dragging me there. I didn't want to go, but my mind was screaming to go. Maybe it was because I wanted my last piece of peace by hearing him out. I wanted to say everything that was left on my mind, even though I had said a lot of things already. I just wasn't at peace and wanted to change it. When I saw his figure sitting there on the bench, I started shaking. My hands became a little sweaty and I got nervous. I went over to him and sat on the edge of the bench, far away from him. He looked at me for a second before his eyes landed on the lake again. I didn't look at him since I couldn't look in his blue eyes anymore. I would lose it if I did. A long silence followed, hearing nothing but the chirping birds.
"You came.." I heard him say with a soft voice. I nodded, even though he couldn't see it.
"Why did you come?" he asked and I rolled my eyes. I turned to my left, turning even more away from him.
"To let you speak before I leave" I replied with a 'duh' tone. I knew it was childish but his question was also childish. I turned towards the lake and a few seconds later, he turned completely towards me.
"Do you trust me, Manar?" he asked randomly. I accidentally looked into his eyes and became breathless for a second. His blue orbs were so bright blue, matching his blond curls.
"I don't have a reason to trust you" Lies. I do trust you, and always will.
"Is there a little bit of trust left?" he asked me. I nodded, I wasn't going to lie. I still trusted him a bit, and I hated it.
"Thank God, because if you didn't, I wouldn't explain myself" he said, pressing his fingertips against each other.
"Is there even anything to explain? I think I got everything figured out already" I said with a harsh tone. If he kept acting like he was innocent, I would go.
"Get your attitude back to normal and then we will talk" he said like he was being mad at a child. I wanted to get mad but kept silent, since I wanted this to be over and done with.
"Tell me then, what is there left to explain?" I asked him, this time in a softer tone. He stood up, taking a few steps towards the lake.
"I didn't want to marry her, but I needed to. I was forced to" he said out of nowhere. My eyes shot up and looked at his hair, since he was with his back turned against me. He started talking again before I could even reply.
"I didn't want it, since I was happy with the one that I was with already. I hated her, she was annoying, clingy and I could just see past her what kind of person she was. Nothing for me" he said, referring to Hafsa. I agreed with him on that case though.
"My father told me that he would quit helping Kalil and would stop giving money for him. I wouldn't be able to pay it all by myself. He threatened me that he would.. he wouldn't help with" he said, stuttering a little bit. I let him take his time, even though in the back of my head I told myself not to trust what he was saying.
"With?" I said, trying to let him tell me. He took a deep breath and turned around.
"He told me he wouldn't help me find Karim if I didn't marry her. I agreed, in a heartbeat. Karim was important at that moment, he still is though" he said, whispering the last part. His blue eyes pierced through mine and I looked away to avoid the meaning. Loyalty, honesty..
"Manar I didn't play a game on you- I didn't. It was all a coincidence" he said, making it all even more confusing.
"You are Maher's best friend" I said, trying to use that as a reason for why he would side by them.
"I didn't know he had a sister though. I didn't know about you. Him being Hafsa's cousin was news that I came to know about very late. He came to know about it and beat me, telling me not to hurt her" he said that gave me a pang in the chest. I felt like someone fired a bullet towards me, aiming right.
"He stood up for his cousin.. not for his sister" I whispered, thinking of the days where my father told him to beat me and to throw me on the streets. He did.
"I didn't know he was like that. I knew him as a loyal man that I could tell anything to. You know what's funny? He knew about you" he said and I looked up at him, not believing him. Maher wouldn't go through with that, he wouldn't.
"He didn't know it was you though. I told him that there was this girl that I was helping out and that I liked her, but he never knew it was you. After a while, he told me he didn't believe that you existed and told me to be together with Hafsa" he said and I had a hard time believing. He came towards me and kneeled down in front of me.
"You need to believe me. That little trust left in you- please don't waste that. Believe me with that little trust. I am telling you the truth" he said and I felt a tear stream down. I didn't know what to do and what to believe. My mind told me to stand up and walk away but my heart already gave him a second chance and believed him.
"Its too late.." I said softly, thinking of that he was married to her. My cousin got what she wanted. She hurt me, and she hurt me pretty bad. The fact that I lost such an amazing person was hurting me badly.
"I have done so much for you Manar. Even behind your back, without you knowing, I protected you, stood up for you. You don't know and I know its hard to believe since you weren't there when it all happened" he said, trying to reason but it wasn't working.
"You remember that I was off sometimes and you would ask what was going on? Well, I was dealing with this mess. I got Karim back for you, but my dad was still forcing me. I was going to stop it, I really was" he said and I shook my head.
"Don't tell me. You don't need to tell me. Its over, its too late for anything and everything" I said, letting the tears fall. I fidgeted with my fingers, being nervous. This would be the last time I would see him, look into his amazing eyes, hear his soft voice- everything was over.
"Don't cry Manar, you know I hate it when you cry" he said and I didn't know what to say. I wanted to get up and walk away. The pain my heart was feeling was unbearable.
"Its too late.." I whispered, more to myself. He neared towards me but still had a space between us. His cologne hit me and I closed my eyes, enjoying his scent that had calmed me down so many times.
"Its not. When there is love, its never too late" he said, but I shook my head.
"You don't belong to me anymore. Your hair that I would love to run through with my hands. Your full lips that were perfect against mine. Your eyes that were always telling me the emotion that the sea was feeling. Your mind and dedication towards the things you believe in. Your beauty- inside and out, all of it, doesn't belong to me anymore. It belongs to her, she, the girl who doesn't even deserve it. Not that I did" I said, whispering the last sentence, reminding myself of my insecurities.
"All of me, its all yours. It doesn't belong to her, Manar. It doesn't"
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Okay I think this is the longest chapter I have ever written! They keep getting longer and longer right? and I love Kamal so much damn I need him in my life
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SERENDIPITY (Islamic Story)
Spiritual[Previously known as 'Have you'] Have you ever felt so alone? Have you ever felt like they stabbed you in your back? Have you ever thought you were going to be a victim of rape? Have you ever felt like you can't even trust family? Have you...
