Apologies (A Phanfiction )

Chapter 29

It's been a whole week. I haven't left the couch, only to maybe eat or take a shower, but that was it. I somehow managed to stop drinking and tossed out all the alcohol in the house, every single drop. I didn't even realize I was doing it until I stopped to think about it. I got a call talking about my parent's funeral earlier. I was supposed to come in and talk to them in three hours. I ruffled my hair, threw on dressy type clothes. I put on a spritz of cologne before slowly pulling on a pair of socks and shoes. It took a while to get to the funeral home so I should probably leave now. I popped a mint in my mouth, grabbed my phone and keys, and headed out the door. I needed Phil with me right now. I shook my head and pushed out onto the pavement outside. I kept my head down and headed for the underground. I flashed my card and got on my train. I let a lady take the last seat and stood in the annoyingly crowded aisle. Someone bumped into me looking rather nicely dressed and mumbled an apology. I didn't really look at their face until I recognized the sweet vanilla scent. "Phil?" I half whispered, actually looking up. He looked up at me with his bright blue eyes, which were dim and hidden behind glasses. "Dan," his eyes widen, but went back to normal shortly after.

"Where are you heading off to?" He questioned, nodding at my almost-fancy clothes. I looked down for a second before looking back at him and speaking blankly, "Oh um- I'm going to the funeral home." Phil's brows furrowed, "What? What happened?!" I looked down again, feeling slight anxiety, "My parents, they uh- they got in a car accident a week ago." "Why didn't you tell me?!" Phil sounded hurt, but worried. "You were mad at me and you left and I didn't want to be a burden," I almost whispered. "Oh," Phil breathed out. A scratchy voice was heard on the speakers as the train stopped. "Oh um. This is my stop," I started towards the door. "Mine too," Phil followed me off the train. "Where are you off to?" I asked him, flashing my card once more. Phil flashed his before catching up to me, "I miss you." "I miss you too," I muttered. He sighed quietly behind me. "Can you come with me?" I blurted out. Phil looked up at me, "To the- Oh, yeah of course." I mouthed a thank you before leading the way to the funeral home. Phil followed shortly behind me, making subtle small talk. He held the door for me when we reached it. I walked up to the front desk and told the lady who I was here to see.

"Oh please, have a seat," Peter Hart spoke kindly, but professionally. Phil and I sat down in the two seats in front of his desk. "Again, I'm so sorry for your loss Mister Howell," Peter sat down as well and rested his hands on his desk. I gave him a half-hearted smile as Phil placed a hand on my knee to comfort me. "Now we have a couple of things to discuss, their wills along with the actual funeral itself," Peter spoke with the same tone. I stayed silent as he read aloud my mother's and father's wills. I didn't even think this day would come, but here it is and I feel emotionless. "So I'll refer you to Emily, our accountant if you will, to sort out the money issues. As for their home, you may do whatever you like with it," Peter handed me two papers and glanced over them, "All the information is in there." Phil rubbed my knee and I took a deep breath. Peter spoke again, "We can handle the funeral procedures, since your parents told us where they'd like to be buried and such. You most likely know as well. As we discussed over the phone, the funeral will be next week at one." I nodded and fidgeted in my seat. "Thank you for your time, Mister Howell, my condolences," Peter said as he stood up. I stood up and shook his hand before heading out the door. We stopped by that Emily's office where she actually handed us almost half a million dollars that were in my parents' bank accounts.

Phil decided to come home with me just for an hour or two to make sure I saw settled. We took a cab due to all the money and not wanting it to be stolen. I called my other relatives and friends of the family and told them about the funeral, accepting their apologizes and even comforting them as well. It was getting late now, dark even, as I hung up on the last family friend and leaned into the couch. "I'm so sorry this happened to you, Dan," Phil have a soft smile. I had forgotten he was here that while time. "It's alright. Do you uh- do you want to stay the night? Since it's dark and all..," I rubbed the back of my neck. Phil shrugged, "If it's alright with you. I'll shoot a text to my mum." I nodded and stretched a bit while Phil typed at his phone. "I'm sorry Phil," I sighed out, making sure he didn't really understand it. "I'll go get ready," Phil said with a yawn as he stood up. I had changed into comfier clothes once we arrived home so only Phil needed to change. We stood in the hallway, Phil in front of the guest room and I was in front of my room. "Well um-goodnight?" Phil shrugged out. "Yeah, goodnight. I'll see you in the morning," I shoved myself into my room and quietly shut the door, curling up under our mix-matched duvet. I was half asleep when my door creaked open at one in the morning. I didn't question it at first. I rolled over on my side and felt the bed dip behind me and an arm wrap around my wait. "What are y-" Phil's sleepy voice interrupted, "Shh. Just go to sleep."

"I'm sorry I left you. I just couldn't stand to see you hurting yourself like that," he spoke quietly, comforting me even in the slightest bit. "I'm sorry I acted so stupid," I sighed into the dark room. "I didn't know about them, Dan. That was rational and I'm the one who should be sorry." "A-are you coming home?" I rolled myself over so I was facing him now. He didn't look me in the eyes, "I don't know." "Oh," I went to turn back around, but he stopped me. "Can we just start over?" I furrowed my brows at him, "What do you mean?" Phil reached a hand up to mess with his hair, "This relationship. Let's start over." "Oh um- Yeah," I rolled onto my back and shut my eyes, "Goodnight." Phil moved closer to be and cuddled into my side and let out a muffled, "Goodnight." I couldn't stop thinking about what he meant about starting over. Is the wedding off? Are we just going to act like this whole 'fight' never happened?  I couldn't answer my questions without his help, but he looked so peaceful sleeping right now.