Fifty Shades Of Blu

Depressed Blu

Staying with Blu when she's this upset is a real test. It's been three days and she won't leave her mom's bed. She sleeps in it every night and I find her smelling her pillows trying to remember her smell.

Seeing someone you love upset does something to you inside. I can't leave her, but I want to so bad. She won't talk, eat or move. I'm surprised she has the will to keep breathing. Her solemn face makes me miss her awful jokes or her cool lingo that only she finds funny. I think about her smile and I just wish she'd put it on for me.

Rickey's trying to stay strong. The poor guy has been planning his mothers funeral that's tomorrow alone with minor details Blu writes down for him. There father hasn't called or came by. Pepper told me everything. He'd been cheating on her for months maybe even years. Ms. Waters refused to believe it until she kicked him out for Blu and he never came back. The doorbell interrupted my thoughts.

Pepper brings us dinner every night and I'm just sick of the feeling of depression wafting off Blu. She doesn't deserve to feel this way. I wish I could do more for her.

"Blu, are you hungry?" I asked and knowing her answer I walked off after a minute of her staring. "Wait." I heard softly fall from her lips. I walked to her bedside. "I'm a little hungry. Will you get the food and come eat with me?" She said and I smiled which I never really do.

"Alright," I said as I trekked down the stairs. Pepper hugged me which is weird, but I mean everyone's depressed and I don't want to be a asshole, so I just softly pat for a second and pull away. "Is Blu up for dinner tonight?" She asked and I shook my head. "Yes actually, she spoke to me." I said grabbing her salmon.

"That's good. I'll go get Rickey and eat with him. You two should talk." She said and I walked back upstairs and Blu wasn't in her mothers room. She was in her own.

"Babe?" I questioned and she shook her head. I handed her the food and watched her drool with her eyes over the plate. She must be starving.

"Im sorry for worrying you. I'm okay." She said after a good swallow of salmon. "Blu, you don't have to be okay. It's normal to grieve. Don't apologize. I can't imagine your pain right now. You were there for me when I suffered a loss and I'm going to be here for you." I said watching her closely. The way she moved her jaw while chewing. Her face as she got a taste of food after days. Her hair up in a messy bun and her fresh face just as beautiful as it would be covered in products.

"I know, but it's been three days and my mom said to be happy and all I can do is honor her request and sitting shacked up isn't being happy. Touring starts in four days and I can't back out. I'm depriving you of a life as well." She said and hearing her voice melt to form words made me smile.

"You're not depriving me. I can't say I haven't wanted to leave this house, but it's not because I want to have a life. You know how I get when you're sad. I don't like it one bit." I replied and she looked at me.

"Everything's going to be alright. I honestly feel fine right now. I miss her, but she's not coming back and I've read her letter a million times these past few days and I understand." She said looking deep in my eyes. "Blu, I'm glad you feel that way, but you don't feel it's to soon." I said back and she sighed.

"Come with me." I looked up this time. "Where? I asked. "On tour. I want you to come and it'd mean the world having you by my side." She said and I smiled. "Blu, that's a really big decision for you to make right now and I don't think you're in a state to understand what you're asking me."

"I know that I love you and you're the only person I could imagine to be by my side." She said back. I got on her bed and grabbed her hand.

"Blu, I can look in your eyes and tell that you aren't fully you. Let's just give it a few days." I suggested. "You're just afraid of the commitment of coming. I knew the day of graduation I truly am going to lose you." She said to me.