Little Miss Gotham

Chapter Twenty Two

"That all makes sense." Bruce said. "But why?"
"Why?" I scoffed. "Joker forced my deepest desires out of me. He didn't make me hate my father. He didn't make me hate this city. It was there all along and he just helped me let some of the anger out. The only thing that he made me do was fall in love with them only for him to break my heart." I took a step back and looked at the small ledge only six inches wide. 

"Then stop right there. Please, Sophia." Bruce begged.

"Why?" I shrugged. "Eric knows. You know. The secret is bound to slip if not now then definitely later. Even if I went back to being Sophia, the little scientist who was off to metropolis soon enough, it wouldn't be the same. When someone brings out this side of you that you loved so much but then have it taken from you, there's no way you can settle with who you used to be." 

But Bruce remained silent and I took one deep breath and got myself up on the ledge. My blood was running cold and I could feel every part of my tensing up by the second. I was scared. I wasn't sure what would happen to me tonight. I could end up on either side of this ledge. But something deep down was telling me to step off regardless of the light I couldn't see at the end of the tunnel.

"I'll give you a choice." I said. "Don't tell my family and I'll go off to Metropolis with Eric like he suggested earlier or you march me down to Arkham Asylum right now and save the world the trouble." 

"I can't make that decision..." Bruce said.

"Oh, but you can." I nodded. "You're the Batman. You take all the bad guys away and that's exactly what I am. I've killed someone, I've blown things up, I've vandalized, I'm the Joker's partner in crime, and I loved every second of it! I'm guilty! I'm guilty of everything!" I laughed hysterically and knew the Princess was showing. Sophia was gonna leave it up to the world to decide her fate. Princess wanted to test the world's limits. 

"Sophia, get down." Bruce demanded. 

"And what if I just lean back a little." I giggled, doing just that. But the wind blew stronger and my shock ran through my body in waves as I quickly leaned forward. "Would you jump after me? Would you let me fall? What would Batsy do?" 

"Why are you doing this?!" he yelled. 

"Because nobody loves me! Nobody loves me or Sophia! No matter who I am I will never be good enough." my voice cracked and I cried as I yelled. The cold wind made the tears feel like ice on my cheeks. "Because in the end, everybody gives up on me and I'm by myself on the edge of a roof."

"Get down and I'll take you home. I'll take you wherever you want to be. But a lot of people would be upset if Sophia fell forty stories onto the streets." Bruce said. 

I stood there for a moment just thinking. I wanted to jump and leave behind everything before it got worse. I knew it would. If I stayed, my secret would be revealed and I'd be sent to the Asylum before I even had a chance to run. But if I jumped and ended this all right now, my parents wouldn't have anything to worry about, the city would have one less thing to fear, and I would no longer be a burden. Whether I'm Sophia or the Princess, the world could do without both. 
I took a deep breath but my nerves weren't calmed down even the slightest. If the wind wasn't so strong, my legs wouldn't hurt so much from trying to keep my balance. 
But something else was bugging me. 
The Joker... I still loved him. I still wanted him. Even though I knew he chose Harley, there was no way I could erase every moment we shared and how much it all meant to me. Something about him though kept me from leaning back a little further. I just wanted to see him again. 
I looked behind me at the traffic and people on the sidewalk. 

There was nothing left for me here.

In the distance I heard a helicopter and had a feeling it was a news helicopter, ready to report a jumper.