Little Miss Gotham

Chapter Thirty Nine

I snatched my hands away and swallowed past the lump in my throat. 

"So much for welcoming you home."

"I..." Joker said, raising his voice in my face. "Didn't like that my Princess didn't listen to me." I felt his hand grip my neck but gently. I still flinched though and I stared him right in the eye. 

"You don't control me, hunny. I did what I did to get the press off my back. I'm not just Princess, ya know? If I'm going to commit to both lives here I need to do what I have to do." I said. I knew Joker was less likely to be angry with me if I didn't stand down to him. I wasn't like Harley who sulked in a corner and took it all. If I'm going to take this, I'm gonna give him something in return. It makes things interesting, right?

But to my surprise, the hand once on my neck smacked against my cheek so hard that my head turned and a cut on the corner of my lip opened when my tooth caught it. I didn't feel it until the air hit it and then the stinging began. I raised my head while my heart sunk and looked at him while he laughed.

"Wow! You sure took that one better than Harley ever did." he said. 

I laughed. That was a terrible time to say something like that. I lunged forward with a punch to his face and Joker barely stumbled more than five steps. 

"I'm not like her." I said, my adrenaline pumping so fast that I didn't hesitate to throw another punch. But his hand caught it and squeezed it so hard that an unintentional whimper passed through my lips. Joker kicked my legs out from underneath from me and I fell back, my head hitting the charcoal slate of a kitchen floor. I winced, the pain striking seconds after the impact and sending painful waves throughout my entire head. When I opened my eyes again, he was crouched beside me, pushing the hair off my face.

"I know, doll. You're better than her." Joker grinned, his hand gripping a chunk of hair. I couldn't fight back the tears that merely came from the pain. I squeezed my eyes shut and he pulled my face up to his with my hair. "But know your place." he angrily said. "You listen to what I tell you, okay? Simple as that!" 

When he stood up, leaving me sitting on the floor, I felt my entire chest cave in and I held my breath to try and keep myself from breaking down. I had to pick myself up, right. I wiped my face and stood up, staring him in the face as he picked up my little Christmas present I left on the counter. I crossed my arms, wondering what I did wrong for this to possibly end this way. 

"You know, I got more hurt from you than I did when I was going up against dozens of Gotham's criminals." I said, watching as his expression changed when he held the gun and looked at it. But he wouldn't look at me. I wanted to see emotion. I wanted to see that he cared. I don't care if he broke down in tears and wanted to throw himself at the window. I just wanted to see something! 

I turned away from him instead and headed to his room where I had an overnight bag. I guess that wouldn't stay here much longer. I'd be better off with my family right now anyway. 

The second I got out of Arkham, I just haven't been as strong as I would have hoped to be. I had too many moments like these where I completely lose myself and don't even know who I am or why I even need to be here anymore. I sighed, not wanting to bring myself to a point as low as I was on the roof that night. But what was the point anymore? I entered his room and looked down at my bag, thinking to myself. So many thoughts ran through my head. I wasn't good enough to be two people every day. I couldn't be the perfect daughter nor could I be the perfect companion and it left a hole in the pit of my stomach to think that way. I took a deep breath and wiped my tired eyes, catching some of the blood on my lip as well. 

I walked into the bathroom where I hoped I would find something to clean up this little cut. 

His luxurious bathroom held a large tub and a fancy shower beside it. There was enough space between those and the sink and toilet to have a party in here. I wasn't surprised that he'd have such a large space that he hardly ever used. I opened the mirror to check for something that would help but I didn't find anything. In fact, he had his collection of fancy drugs in here. Pills, powders and liquids?